I love myself first, jerk!!

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May 31, 2011 – Have you ever clenched something in your palm so hard that you don’t want to let go? So hard that you are afraid to peep inside and loose it?

It’s safe and protected from the world and you know you have it to yourself. But one fine day you finally have the courage to open your palm only to find that the precious gift you were holding was just air, an empty space of nothingness.

Sad isn’t it? All that protection amounts to nothing. I’d go mad, which I partially have as I’m speaking…errr…writing. This article people, is raw and uncut, a personal experience that may concern you, or maybe not, but it can help.

Who in the heck invented love? Don’t answer it, I’d probably shoot you for being the messenger anyways. Now, I know I spoke in parables back there but here’s the deal, when is giving ever enough?

I thought the first rule of loving someone is give, give and give, right? So exactly when should one expect to receive? Are you in a relationship where you give more than you receive?

If you’ve ever been unlucky in love then you sort of land on someone you think is ‘the one’, you can probably relate. When you find something so beautiful you don’t want to let it go, I promise you, you will hold on tight to it like you never did. Why not, it’s natural, after all this is happiness right here.

But in the process of holding on tight, have you also forgotten about yourself? Giving your all in a relationship, to the contrary, is not wrong.

But is it too much that you overlook some danger signs that may in the long run hurt you? Sometimes when you love someone too much, it’s hard to believe that they can hurt you because in your mind you think they love you with the same intensity.

And most of the time you think you can fix stuff by loving and caring harder. This is not the case. As it is, you will end up falling into an even deeper pit- denial. Have you ever wondered where stalkers come from?

These were once normal people probably wronged by the people they once ‘over-loved’. It hurts so bad to know you’ve had something all along that
actually was never there.

I found that the best way to avoid this situation is to appreciate yourself as a human being capable of also receiving good things, a person who deserves to be treated right. That’s step number one.
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Number two, don’t make excuses for someone who’s clearly not making you happy ‘he’ll change’,‘she’s just moody that’s why we haven’t spoken in 3 weeks’, ‘he’s just having a hard time with work’-pure nonsense slap yourself if you do that! We have 364/5 days in a calender, when is this person ever happy or caring or sweet?

Wake up and smell the coffee! Number three, expect to receive; if this person is not offering you anything beyond happy-get rid of him or her, you’re better off finding somebody who can.

Number four, don’t fix things- I’m bad at that by the way- I like fixing the ‘unfixables’ a weakness I’m trying hard to beat because it’s not worth it. If this person cannot appreciate your effort and sacrifice, he or she is selfish and doesn’t deserve your love. Lastly, unclench your fist do not hold on tight to someone who’s not making you happy.

When you find someone who treats you better, trust me, that’s where you’ll stick and most of the time it’s a person you’ve probably ignored most of your life, settling for the jerk instead.

I actually grew wiser over one weekend and I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders, it’s as if I’d been holding on to something so tightly, afraid to lose it yet in essence I actually lost it a long time ago.

Taking all of my useful energy for nothing. To avoid the pain that comes when you find the one you love was actually a figment of your imagination, remember to always put yourself first because when all is said and done, who’s going to pick you up?

And for everyone’s sake, make sure it doesn’t ever happen again. You’ve got only one life to live-make good use of it!

Check out the author’s blog: http://gnet.blog.com/ and follow @thedragnet on Twitter

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  • Mo

    i agree with this dear, unfortunately, i think i have given too much in the past and been let down, and now i just take, take n take!! am the bad cop. feels awkward jus dunno how to change back. coz once a good girl goes bad…

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