Here is "Why men cheat!"

May 25, 2011 – My generation is a special one. We live in a time where sex is no longer a taboo but rather a glorified act in all its aspects and manifestations. It’s a time where you can’t leave a child playing alone outside because sexual predators are everywhere now as a result of the liberal attitude towards sex. But that is beyond the scope covered here.

Cheating: each one of us probably knows somebody who’s been cheated on, is cheating, or we’ve done it or been party to it. A lucky few have probably never experienced it directly or never known about it (basically been on the friendlier side of ignorance.)

Now, my take on the whole cheating issue as a young man is still relatively untainted by the issue at hand. Part of it from observation, part from experience, and a huge chunk from guys who cheat and know what they’re talking about.

MAN_LOVE_341620260.jpgMen and aging

Men go through several stages in their lives, there is the stage you discover boobs, that women are soft, smell nice and that you like to touch them. It’s at this stage you experience puppy love, crushes, get your heart cracked the first time, probably lose your virginity and generally pleasure yourself to naked women pictures. The stage lasts through the teen years to the super early 20’s.

The next stage happens in the 20’s where most men start getting a little more serious in relationships.

The not so smart ones jump into marriage -but you didn’t hear me call them stupid-, likely shotgun in many and in others just youthful impulsiveness.

Advice: don’t get married yet; just get to know each other better, what is a 5year dating period if you are going to spend the rest of your lives together?
…Where was I? Oh yeah, they start getting a little serious in relationships and looking for “the One.”

By this stage most men have identified their “ideal woman” characteristics. When asked what type of person they are looking to spend their lives with, they will give a detailed description; most likely because they have someone in mind.

Thing is, this is also the stage when most men are making the foundation to their financial future, i.e. Hustling and getting their stuff together.

The next significant stage is from 30-40 when the man has achieved most of the financial freedom he  has been looking for and settles down, most likely with the ideal woman he described in the previous stage (i.e. assuming she stuck around when he was still hustling.)

This is where many men are found to be cheating on their wives, divorces happen and generally really bad stuff goes down.

Girls and pizza

Women age differently from men (hence the subtopic) and I’m not a woman so I won’t get into it that much.

I’ll just state: men grow more attractive with age, while women just grow old, except for the lucky few. Inflammatory as this statement may seem, it isn’t intentional, just a little-hard-to-swallow fact.
As I move along you will realize that in an ideal universe the difference in aging is not really that important. I’ll skim over some of the stages women go through nevertheless.

Teenage is that stage in a woman’s life when she is most attractive. The boobs pass the pencil test easily because of all the glorious perkiness and men are constantly scratching at your front door wanting to get in. It’s at this stage where a woman realizes the power she has over them.

At 18 men can “lay” her without thoughts of jail and dropping the soap; clubs, booze and pizza/cake places become the norm. Basically she can and will exploit her sexuality to the maximum.

The girls are impressionable and the idea of dating an older guy is kind of a thrill…the richer the better.

Young girls love pizza, even the ones who never grew up eating it; the only thing they love more than pizza is the guy who can afford to buy it for them constantly.

Rarely will you see young women ordering pizza to-go; it’s to be eaten there for it to taste better.

It’s the my-man-can-buy-me-this n that phenomena and men will stumble over each other trying to catch her attention through pastry and cheese.

Many women in their 30’s have also usually achieved financial independence and looking to settle down.

They have been aware their biological clocks are ticking for the last 2 or 3 years and the attention from men is waning because of the developing crow’s feet yeah I said it and the fact that impressionable girls are hitting 18 every day bringing a lot of unfair competition.

Oh, and they have friends who are married or getting married, probably with kids too. So there is some sort of pressure on them.

Men and love, women and money and why men cheat

A general consensus among women is that “men ain’t shit” especially among those who have been hurt by some men. If they said “some men aint shit” I guess I’d nod in agreement and probably give them a “there there” pat on the back.

A commonly unheard of topic is that one covering men and love. We rarely hear of men being in love nowadays, it’s almost like a taboo.

You will rarely come across a man’s blog talking about love or how in love he is with somebody. So can we safely assume our generation consists of aloof, macho self-centered men whom women swoon all over seeking for their attention?

You would be mistaken for thinking it’s a crime in our generation for a guy to have emotions or feelings except those along the lines of laughter, anger or sadness.

The expression “why are you behaving like a woman” is actually used as an insult!

Let me break it down nicely, men have feelings. It actually stings a little when women say “men ain’t shit” because some of us are the shit…and urine. Men love with an unfathomable fire, just like a woman in love.

When a man loves you he does it with every fibre of his being. It won’t matter how old you are, how you look or dress as long as it’s you. In his eyes you are the epitome of perfection and nothing anybody says or does can ever change that.

He will let you step on his ego and use it for your doormat, and he will let you keep his testicles in your purse (not literally obviously).

When a man loves you, he hands you the remote/control to his life; you may choose to screw with it or make it better. Whether he is miserable or happy will depend on you for the most part.

And no, when a man loves you there is no chance of him cheating on you because he lives to see you happy and there is no sacrifice too great…including giving up other women.

Women and money

Nobody likes to be poor, nobody!
Women like to be pampered and treated nice and all that but me thinks they sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture.

I know money can’t buy happiness and that a hug can’t pay bills; neither can you binge on junk and keep that super curvy hourglass shape-without the bulimic quick fix-.… my point is everything is always about finding that happy medium.

Nowadays, though, I’ve started to get convinced that money is all most women think about, oh! and what a guy can buy for them.

Guys are judged by the size of their wallet and not what he can give with his heart. It’s “I’d rather weep in a palace than smile in a shack”.

Women constantly bitch about men treating them like objects yet when you look at it soberly, most of them DO go to the highest bidder.

It is at this point that I will jump to the main topic which actually got you reading this entry in the first place:

Why men cheat

Like I said earlier, by their mid-20’s most men have identified what they’d want in their ideal soul mate and probably have somebody in mind. Men love and can get hurt just as badly as women.

The problem with this age though, is most women are very materialistic and as an unfortunate coincidence it’s usually the time the man is kick-starting his financial future. See where I’m heading?

So a situation arises where a man is seriously interested in a girl and even though she may be interested she discounts him as a potential partner based on his financial ranking.

This is probably because she had that ideal in mind on the lifestyle she desires to have. Her having friends who date rich guys would probably tilt the odds against the suitor further because of the superficial perception over how her friends’ lives have changed by dating rich men.

So she ignores the guy who makes her happy for a guy who can buy her stuff but might not really appreciate her. There is a vicious cycle resulting from this process, you will note by the end.

Hearts heal, but they never love the same (most of the time), and the jilted young man will ,move on, hopefully with no hard feelings depending on how he was let go.

Other girls will come who will see and appreciate him for what he is and in my ideal universe he will love her with the same passion he loved the first girl and it ends happily ever after.

A person never forgets the person they truly loved; life never gives the easy way out. The ideal was set and it is imprinted in the subconscious mind, the guy will move on but he will date the girls who most closely resemble his dream girl -the one that got away.

The girls won’t realize it but he will try to change them to fit the image he had and when she fails, he moves on or strays.

During this time his financial standings have improved, from promotions and all that hustling paying off; and with age and money, comes the girls; remember what I said about the thrill young girls get from dating older men, plus the common misconception that older men are more mature -men never mature, mature men are just boring men trying to look serious.


This young man was jilted because he was poor, got his heart all broken but now has all these women after him.

He will let the money work for him, after all, wasn’t that all you (women in general) were after all along? You see, without the emotional connection with a woman the only thing that would actually potentially keep a man from cheating would be his morals, and we all know that morality is a gift that has been distributed sparingly to our generation.

Let’s move to a hypothetical situation which as it turns out happens a lot of times so isn’t really that hypothetical.

What if the original poor guy (who was left, then morphed into the rich guy, taking girls from other poor guys, continuing the seemingly unbreakable cycle) ends up hooking up with the girl of his dreams – the one who left him when he was just a hustler? In the ideal universe they live happily ever after.

Had this been a movie we’d just cut to the scene where she is crying on her friends couch/lap sobbing “but *inhales snort* I gave him the *inhales more snort* chance later on. Why would he cheat on me? *insert sobs here*”

When a mother gives up her baby- adoption, abandonment, whichever- for 10 or maybe 15 years then comes back into the picture, will she still have the same effect on it as she would have had she raised the baby?

The man had a specific perception of you when you were young; had you stayed together, the perception would have adjusted as you aged together and there wouldn’t have been any lost years because of petty finance issues.

This is what I was leading up to when I said it doesn’t matter how either of you age because he will love you for all that you are and all that you made him feel i.e. if you hadn’t made him feel pathetic by leaving him because he wasn’t as loaded as other guys.

Now the man is stuck on an image of you when you were young and since you are no longer it, he will still be on the lookout for the younger you he knew and loved which will lead to him doing what?

It may seem like a cold and pessimistic outlook on life and relationships, and I’m not saying anyone deserves to be cheated on, but this is the reason most guys I’ve talked to give.

The truth is people lie to each other. Sometimes when a person is too forthcoming about how good their life is, they are probably trying to cover up for small insecurities, embarrassment or pain.

Why else do we see couples break up and not give a shit about the money anymore after several years? Just goes to show how many people realize too late where some of the priorities should have been.

There are good guys out there, men who will lay down their life for you, and mold their world around you because, for all intents and purpose, you are their world.

Just make sure you aren’t too preoccupied assessing their finances to notice what they mean to you or you to them. Would you rather be a trophy to a wealthy fuck who treats you like trash, than be a queen to an average guy who would treat them like they are the world.

Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because you aren’t watering your side enough.

As a side note before it seems like I’m trashing rich folk: I know several wealthy couples who are really happy with each other all these years (some have been together for 26yrs now…26!)and the common denominator between them is they weren’t always rich yet stuck together through the hard.

Let love be the prize and money to be just a welcome bonus!

For more articles from the author check out his blog here. You may also follow him on twitter @iz_ben

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  1. Avatar Dee January 1st, 1970 at 12:00 am

    the stages of a man cheating dont matter that much but i love the article quit a well elaborate one but why men only give us one on ladies

  2. Avatar Duncan Muchina March 16th, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    It is not the election outcome that has caused tension. It’s you.

    1. Avatar Michael Jones March 18th, 2013 at 10:41 pm


  3. Avatar titiaddis March 16th, 2013 at 3:00 pm

    Raila hates no one! Raila is a man of principle and stand tall for what he be leaves in. Which is equality, democracy and meny other facts, Kenyan people have been asking for and crying for. Every time some one build a house and about to move in some crooks use the back door and occupied it. This time we are not going to agree to shar the house, this time we are going to trough you out and move in to hour house. You had taken enough of ours.

  4. Avatar samwel Gachwe March 16th, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    You can beat uhuru he has more numbers support than you. even if you go for re run you will still be beaten. Prezo wa opinion poll.Your behaving like your advice Miguna.Its i high time you now write a book…..titled peelinig back the mask of IEBC…..

  5. Avatar Gathii March 16th, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    When shall you stop all these marches and go home!

  6. Avatar mishi March 16th, 2013 at 8:53 pm

    Surely 100% turnout to riot but not voting? we need peace and need to back to work. Iam the court will need peaceful to deliver the judgement.

    1. Avatar Nawach March 18th, 2013 at 12:52 am

      Both Raila and Uhuru understand Democracy. I have listened to both. None of them want Kenya to survive without the rule of law. They mean it when they call each other brother. In politics there is only friendship. that is why they swop alliances. But the public are not broad minded, that is why the public read only hatred and fight. Let us support our leaders at this crucial time. Both Raila and Uhuru need our empathy not sympathy. We are all Kenyans who believe we have a contribution to make.

  7. Avatar Lawrence M. Nderu March 16th, 2013 at 9:04 pm

    Old man is democracy only possible when you have won?

  8. Avatar lrdnel March 16th, 2013 at 11:09 pm

    It is only democracy when you
    win??!! I still want you to hand over the people of siaya their democratic
    rights. you have imposed on them wrong leadership and you have made the orengo’s,
    nyang nygongo’s to defect to you to your undemocratic odm for them to be sat on
    by you. They cannot think and reason beyond you!? You double speak all the
    time. Calling those who are under you names and only to praise them when you
    think you can use them to achieve your political tyranny. You did not ever work
    with Amos, wetangulas, kalonzo musyoka (the watermelon – you referred to him
    like that) mutula kalozo (who moi’s lawyer you had perennially learnt to hate).
    Why are you killing democracy by practicing “trial democracy”?

  9. Avatar Gabby March 16th, 2013 at 11:09 pm

    March of democracy is when Raila is complaining about it NOT any other person. What will happen when Jubilee supporters start clamoring for democracy too?

  10. Avatar waithaka March 16th, 2013 at 11:11 pm

    hot air

  11. Avatar Zecho G. Gatka-al March 17th, 2013 at 3:20 am

    This time minority and majority who have no money to pay people will not rule otherwise democracy is nothing.

  12. Avatar Boby Colo March 17th, 2013 at 10:52 am

    I am positive about it

  13. Avatar Stanslous March 17th, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    Well put Your Excellency The Prime Minister.We are watching without ceasing.Democracy must prevail;Justice must stand.Kenya is 4all of us.Uhuru is your brother just as u put it.Those who do not have the intelligence of understanding you today shall so do in the near future after the patience,brotherhood and love prevailing now is overtaken by impatience, enemity and hate.
    Preach peace,tirelessly stand for democracy and liberate our country.We all know what you have done for this nation so far.What you intend to do (making all Kenyans feel the easyness of living) is what you are being fought of.Keep the faith,fight the battle.Victory is all yours at last.God bless you.God bless Kenya.

  14. Avatar Saja March 17th, 2013 at 7:22 pm

    Dear Mr. Odinga (I believe you currently hold no title) I would like you to stop commiting yourself to issues you know you will not commit to. I recall you commmited to accept the outcome of the election, well YOU DID NOT! This has made Kenyans Question the elections outcome whereas they had innitially accepted. I will state it here WE BLAME YOU FOR the blood shed in 2007/2008 PEV! That is why you will never win!! Now you claim that you will commit to the outcome of the petition! We all know you WILL NOT, especially if its against you! Please Sir kenyans do not want you to lead them!!! Respect that decision and go home for the sake of the country. Kenya is Bigger than YOU!

    1. Avatar Bobo March 18th, 2013 at 8:56 pm

      Who told you Kenyans accepted.. which Kenyans have you interviewed and how many? Remember silence is no consent. Speak for yourself and not for the general public. I don’t see why one should be annoyed with the matter being taken to the supreme court… this is a democratic country and if anyone feels the elections were not fair it is ok to go to court. The truth has to be known and every Kenyan has a right to the truth. There were far too many coincidences to be overlooked and if you sober up from your arrogance you will agree with me.

  15. Avatar Duncan Muchina March 17th, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    The title of this article is misleading. It should be: “March of the West to control Kenya unstoppable”…….but it will be stopped right on it’s evil tracks. Kenyans are resilient people and can dig deeper in a fight back. Utabaki upweke ndugu yetu!

  16. Avatar Kenny March 17th, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    I loved reading this letter from Mr.Odinga! I was not a voter.

    No matter the outcome, if Odinga and Cord are able tobe granted a day in court and that case is finally concluded, they would have made history by establishing a Benchmark.

    New guidelines and safeguards will be written that will guide Kenya’s future elections in a way that our grand parents would never have imagined.

    The world is going to unite and help Kenya continue
    to prosper, be lawful and ethnically cohesive, legitimate, transparent and
    a crown jewel of Africa.

    If it turns out that Safaricom was complicit inany fraud, its business reputation, ethics and credibility willbe tarnished such that executives and officers of that company many
    stand trial.

    Future contracting companies will have to be truthful, especially
    in this electronic age. The companies that sold the tally machines will learn
    what happened to their machines and hopefully make them more tamper proof.

    This whole exercise is good for Kenya, irrespective of tribe, who you support or
    voted for.

    I pray that the world unite behind Odinga, et al, to see that Kenya’s
    Independence and democracy is preserved and that the absolute truth is reached
    without any human life lost.

    Kenya does not belong to any one Person or tribe;it’s a country of many millions and tribes and non- tribal persons. Kenyans,and the rest of the world, should rejoice that possibly, millions of lives will be saved, in the future, through this law suit.

  17. Avatar Tony March 18th, 2013 at 8:33 am

    Indeed true. Raila can no longer stop the march for democracy in Kenya. Kenyans voted. You lost. Please respect the outcome.

  18. Avatar benja March 18th, 2013 at 9:12 am

    Mmhhh….i wonder what happened to the promise “i will concede if defeated”…..stop bothering everyone old man, we are trying to work.

  19. Avatar Ajak Mayom March 18th, 2013 at 9:31 am

    point of correction my president uhuru kenyatta not my brother uhuru

  20. Avatar Kadem March 18th, 2013 at 9:38 am

    Ati I invite my brother, yet he is the same person who said he was a criminal who should be in prison. How hypocritical.

  21. Avatar Concerned Citizen March 18th, 2013 at 9:43 am

    Stop it! Raila and act like a big boy. Concede defeat! Country is larger than power. Make an example of it and let that be your legacy. – Concerned Citizen

  22. Avatar Lawi003 March 18th, 2013 at 10:09 am

    Okuyus will destroy this country with stealing

  23. Avatar Charles Ndung'u March 18th, 2013 at 10:10 am

    Keep Marching Brother . . just renew your boots,polish them and march on!!!!

  24. Avatar Anthony Kageni March 18th, 2013 at 10:39 am

    Uhuru cannot be your Brother he is your Excellency President of the Republic of Kenya!!!! Address him properly as Mr. President Uhuru Kenyatta then you shall get blessings of many.
    Thanks RAO and co-operate with all Kenyans as we try to move this country to another level.

    1. Avatar Mohamed adan March 24th, 2013 at 11:20 pm

      How deluded… Even uhuru himself or IEBC have not called him president… One becomes a president after swearing …. Now at best he is president elect … which is still disputed.

  25. Avatar disqus_hgZ5A0Emyr March 18th, 2013 at 10:43 am


  26. Avatar Suzie Mkenya March 18th, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Hon Raila, Uhuru won the election, the IEBC despite numerous challenges carried out the elections in a very open and diligent manner. There is no tension among Kenyans about the outcome of the election, you are the one creating tension where there is none. I did vote you five years ago, and even though you were not sworn in as president, your failure to demonstrate your leadership skills in the last five years you were Prime Minister are the reason I never voted for you this time round and I can assure you many Kenyans feel the same. I respect that you have gone to the courts instead of instigating violence and now I’m pleading with you to stay still and wait for the court ruling. Please don’t call Uhuru Brother because we all know you think of him as anything but that. The way he has carried himself so far shows his commitment towards serving the people of Kenya, and respect to the rule of law.

    1. Avatar Opuk Linstu! March 19th, 2013 at 4:16 pm

      Suzie Mkenya, whatever you call yourself nobody here wants to know whom you voted for, who cares anyway!!!!!! Just have some little bit of respect when you are addressing people in this country who struggled for the freedom of speech country that you are now enjoying……………….not only Raila but others too.

      At some stages, when you were still in your mother’s womb, your fathers used to pie on their pants before mentioning the name of any former president…………no freedom of speech!!! so don’t misuse this opportunity to express your childish, ignorant attitude to the public.

  27. Avatar mark man March 18th, 2013 at 11:34 am

    why should we help you to find a job and we are also jobless you lost fairly those who will follow your selfish ideas will be thick upstairs.

  28. Avatar Wilfred yebei March 18th, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    RAO is not a democrat he is the father of six piece suit.

  29. Avatar Wilfred Yebei March 18th, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    Rao is not a democrat, he is the father of six piece suit

  30. Avatar peter kamau March 18th, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    Raila won the election right with 55% but the thief who are known by the international criminal court stall the victory. They said they had the numbers, but we wondered why they could not win with their numbers but only to steal at gun point

  31. Avatar jenga kigori March 18th, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    Uhuru and ruto must decide and resign because they can not lead the country but are capable of stilling government funds. Raila must be given his victory.

  32. Avatar Kamau March 18th, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    I agree with Raila. Uhuru and ruto thought they will impose themselves to the people! they must step a side and go to Hague right now

  33. Avatar Allen Kimaru March 18th, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    I read this twice and I shake my head and look to the heavens…I agree with commentators below

  34. Avatar suluhisho March 18th, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    King of political melo drama!!

  35. Avatar jayjoe otuma March 18th, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    ukabila at its best grow up young girls n boyz

  36. Avatar tony March 18th, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    RAO it’s amazing how two faced you are, we are tired of your greed and lack of political maturity which is quite evident when you can’t admit defeat and now we are all seeing who the real instigator of the post poll chaos was back in 2007!!! it’s unraveling before us now it’s called karma and it came right back n bit u in the ass!!

    1. Avatar Michael Jones March 18th, 2013 at 10:46 pm


      It was the West’s fault. NEVER FORGET THAT IT WAS THE WEST’S FAULT!

    2. Avatar Mohamed adan March 24th, 2013 at 11:16 pm

      Speak for yourself… That he fights for the truth is why I vote for him

  37. Avatar Michael Mulela March 19th, 2013 at 12:26 am

    it hard to swallow but some people will still have to swallow it. the country has changed.. old tricks do not work any longer, if you say you have won be sure it will stand in court. this process is good for the future of this country. IEBC should explain the failures, we spent a lot of money on equipment that failed. why?

  38. Avatar Shawn Davis March 19th, 2013 at 8:21 am

    Its time for you to retire Mr. Odinga. Please respect Kenyans and their decision to not elect you as president. This shows what type of a person you are, I’m glad Kenyans did not elect you. You are not entitled to be president, it was never meant to be and i think it’s time for you to enjoy your retirement and go down in history books,

    1. Avatar Mohamed adan March 24th, 2013 at 11:14 pm

      Please speak for yourself… On what authority can you say “it was never meant to be”? You can only control your single vote. I and other millions have voted for him and would like to find the truth of this election including who won

  39. Avatar CHARLES KARIUKI March 19th, 2013 at 11:30 am

    Kenyans must not confuse greedy of power with fight for justice and democracy….kenya is bigger than one individual.

  40. Avatar March 19th, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    RAO has nothing with UK But Justice has xo be praticed.C ni Poa!!!!

  41. Avatar mdosi mwananchi March 19th, 2013 at 5:23 pm

    hallo raiya, naamini kwamba utakua mwananchi mwema mimi nilipigia wewe kura lakini naregret kwani huwezi kubali matokeo bila fujo sisi ni raiya saa ingine hakuna chakula na tunaendelea wacha maringo ulijihalibia mwenyewe na nominations

  42. Avatar Patora March 19th, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    With all the due respect sir, I hope you have the time to read the comments and what we feel. consider this sir, a comment by a concerned Kenyan..( RAO is like a kid that is aggressive and fights for something but when they get the toy they lose interest. Ok He fought to be
    the MP for Langata and he got it, can we say that the Kibera slums improved because of him, did we have water, sanitation and schools for the largest slums in Sub-sahara Africa? NO. He
    fought to control the Nyanza vote and he got it… Did Nyanza improve in its
    vital areas of more democratic space, school enrollment, agriculture and roads.
    Any society must be self sustaining, must be able to produce something.. that’s
    the back bone of central province success. The answer is NO. He fought to stop
    MOI and his rule and even become the prime minister… Did he use the Luth
    manie lwete to offer leadership… yes and no because he believed that until he
    become president…. Kibaki had Thika road to present to his people.

    1. Avatar Sospeter Nyongesa March 23rd, 2013 at 10:41 pm

      did you say central Province is a success? if it is, I don’t know what failure looks like. All those street kids and prostitutes?

  43. Avatar cond March 25th, 2013 at 11:35 am


  44. Avatar cond March 25th, 2013 at 11:38 am

    Railla will u ever admit defeat?we are the voters not the judiciary that will vote no matter what it decides.We will still give president Uhuru the votes.Will u always say the systems are flawed because the don’t dance to your tune?


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