May 6, 2011 – We all get married looking forward to a blissful life. To love and to hold, united in one purpose sharing everything we have and living happily there after.
Ideally we get married to form one entity but when we get there we discover we are two independent adults likely to spend the rest of the life working hard to connect.
The connection is not as automatic as we would want; actually independence is easier. At times trying to dominate each other is more tempting.
It reminds me of a man who bulldozed his way on where to buy a plot for building a home and the kind of house to build. Many years later the family lives in a rented house as the wife has refused to “live in a home that she was never part of building.”
When bad times come, as they often do, the goal should always be to face them together and confront all in unity. Sadly though, when difficulties come we fight each other instead of dealing with the issues.
It’s sad that during difficult moments we call ‘our boys’ or ‘the girls’ to go out and shake it off. We get out there to enjoy with others and leave our spouses behind.
I have discovered that at any time we are fighting with my wife, we are distracted from our joint ventures. We lose focus on growing together and enjoying what God has given us.
When we lose sight of the mandate to join in subduing the world around us, we end up trying to subdue each other. We waste our energies fighting each other, seeking supremacy and in the process lose charge over opportunities around us.
Marriages are relationships which were meant to subdue both the good and the bad and celebrate the conquest. We ought to direct conflict away from us and deal with issues separate from the bond that holds us together.
When we fail to appreciate the strength in our unity, we invite the danger in our division.
As the Bible says one can chase a thousand but two can chase ten thousand.
Have a united conquest with your loved one!