May 3, 2011 – They say the single modern woman living in 2011 has an average of 5 men involved in her life romantically. I’m not quite sure who ‘they’ are but I believe them – although I did the math and I only have four.
I quit looking for Mr. Right about two years ago when I realized that not even all my womanly instincts and investigative tendencies could help me find this elusive man. While it wasn’t a conscious decision to attract more than one man into my life, I found myself reluctant to let go of the old one when a new one showed up. I guess you can call it selfish; this modern day man-hoarding.
Bachelor number 1: This is my dependable man. He’s been with me through thick and thin and genuinely cares about me. This man always has some kind of complication that wont allow him to let you into his life fully (an ex wife, kids, a baby mama, etc) but make no mistake, when he’s with you, he’s present and thoughtful. The sex is nice and traditional, our meetings are casual yet meaningful. He doesn’t ask much from me and I like that I can expect no stress from him on a daily basis.
Bachelor number 2: This guy would make a great father someday. But he’s also the relationship type. Meaning I only go back to him when I feel like I need to settle down, but quickly realize I’m not ready for rules and regulations just yet. He’s serious and focused but he demands that I call him twice a day and schedule our dates in my calendar. He wants to see me grow and become a ‘better person’ with more direction. He believes in ‘making love’ and ‘intimacy’, whatever that is. He calls me at 8am on a Sunday to pick me up for church…that’s if I forgot to switch off my phone the night before.
Bachelor number 3: Every woman has a guy who makes her heart race. I get butterflies when I see this guy and forget how to speak. His life consists of one exciting adventure after another. The problem is that I know there are at least 6 other chics chasing him at a time and I don’t like to compete. He’s young, fly, and one hell of a flirt. He’ll show you a good time out but you may have to pretend to ignore his eye wandering when short skirts walk by all night. He’s broken my heart more times than I can count, but when I lie on my bed on a cold lonely night, he’s the one in my unspeakable fantasies.
Bachelor number 4: This man remains in flux therefore changes every couple weeks. He’s the one you get exciting texts from early in the morning. He may want to take you out for drinks or cook you dinner but his purpose is transparent: He wants to get in your pants. He’ll offer the promise of excitement when you’re in a slump but your instincts always tell you that he’s nothing but trouble. He’s like Bachelor #3 all grown up. He may have a steady job and a crazy good looks but the only reason you keep him around is so you can convince yourself that you still got what it takes to make a man drool (Ladies, be especially careful with this one!).
So there you have it, the four men in my life. Each unique and providing a different level of comfort, yet also unable to complete me on his own at this point in my life. Am I selfish for hoarding all these men? Maybe. Will I ever find someone who encompasses all four men? No idea.
The important thing is that I’m finally being honest with myself and telling it like it is. This way before I enter into a new dating situation I’ll be sure to stop, think, and try and figure out what purpose I am about to serve in a man’s life. Are you a potential clande, wife, miserable girlfriend, or one-night stand? I personally like to identify where I stand from the get-go. Plus who knows…maybe someday I’ll meet lucky number 5 like the statistics suggest.
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