A simple equation that requires common sense-LOVE
February 23, 2011 – Relationships are like ‘rocket science’, I heard one woman say at one time. I think the reason she said that was because it was at a point of pure frustration. This perception has led many to believe that true love does not exist as well as fairy tale endings. Truth be told, they do not exist, what exists, my friend, is just common sense. Think about what I’m about to tell you.
Step number one, snap back to reality. This is the 21st century to begin with, people stopped believing in brave knights, clad in tight clothing and tantalizing abs, with romantic and wooing words of puppy love, holding a bunch of flowers in one hand and a promise of a better tomorrow in the other . We are now grappling with the high economy suits, expensive Mercedes Benz and the attitude that the ratio of men to women is 1:6 respectively. Men do not go after women nowadays as they used to or even surprise you with a ‘I love you note’ just before you go to work. They are the ‘superior beings’, ‘masters of their own game’ and the moment women realize that and smell the coffee, life will be a hell lot easier. All that nagging and expecting too much from your man should cease immediately. Be smart and wise, only giving in when necessary and getting that
man’s attention by proving that you are intelligent and worthwhile.
Women, on the other hand, are not the stay at home housewives that they used to be. They are chasing down their careers and trying to live their dreams. Understanding this and nurturing it to your advantage will be an added plus to your side as a man. Key word here is, adapt with the changing times but keep true to yourself.
Step number two, know your game. This is the point that many will have to agree with me. Playing hard to get is just plain silly and a waste of valuable and resourceful time. Ladies, or even guys who are still practicing this god-awful behaviour, please stop, it is not helping anybody, more so you. You need to know what you want and go for it. If it’s that incredible guy or girl you had an idea -of- but-still-thinking -about-it, my advise would be, ‘snap out of it moron!’. You are the kind of people who go on shooting down grooms and brides just before their wedding day, or smear irremovable stains on the new bride’s gown just because you were not fast in making a decision and someone else made it for you. Be mature enough to admit that you have feelings for someone and work out how you can develop those feelings into a steady but interesting relationship. Be a go getter and explore all possible opportunities before you lose it and start with regrets.
Step number three, for heavens sake; please do not let a foreigner pray for you to get a spouse. Now before you start jumping out of your pants, I don’t mean a local clergy or anything, I just mean that you and the Supreme Being, who is of course, our Heavenly Father, should be the ones in control of your future. Did you see the foolishness of people who went to that thingy that was held in Nairobi City the other day? (No offense) But it was hilarious! I almost thought it was raining spinsters, hallelujah! Miracle, miracle miracle, to think that men say there are no spiritual women left around…tsk tsk. That got me thinking though. If similar effort was used into looking for a quality spouse, would there be need for divine intervention?
God helps those who help themselves, and I second that by saying, sit down, and seriously think of a person you would like to have in your life, pray about it-alone, privately(no one should publicly have to know about the degree of your desperation for crying out loud)-then go out and mingle with the right crowd. Jackpot. Funny how a little push in the right direction could go a long way. Its not easy, so key word here is, if you work hard at it, you will definitely reap the rewards.
Lastly, love is not a fairy tale. Yes, yes, your boyfriend is a top shot lawyer, she goes to church, he rides a cool bike, and she’s a guru in the bedroom. Sounds familiar? Wrong! This is a fairy tale that will never come to be, probably happens to one person in a million. But part of being in a relationship is molding the person you are with to fit into your life and this is unfortunately where many people go wrong. Careful, I said, mould and not change, there’s a big difference. Moulding involves more of patience, time and lots of understanding of each others need. You do not expect to find a perfectly manicured spouse waiting for you at your doorstep. You have to work hard and try to accept the imperfections of the other person. If you cannot stand it, please leave, and let that person be molded by someone else, maybe your hands deserve to mould another pot. Positive thinking as well as maturity will be the best friends you will ever have in a relationship.
Let go of any perceptions you had about a ‘perfect spouse’ and give space for your relationship to grow. (This also includes not watching those Spanish soaps with pathetic scripts and far too predictable story lines that have only served in ruining people’s perceptions about love). Avoid listening to misleading friends who obviously need to get a life. Be open to possibilities that nobody is perfect because maintaining a ‘perfect relationship’ requires two imperfect people. And that’s the most perfect equation, don’t you agree?
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