February 14, 2011 – The annual day of love is here with us, and love will as ever fill the air.

Florists and candy makers get to reap on this once in a year event as the sales are super high.  For some this is the only day they get a gift, albeit just to stay with the letter of the day. 

For the lucky ones it is time to receive the flower bouquet while for the selected committed men its the day to go down on one knee and pop the question, and being the annual day most women shout YES!

By virtue of being more emotional women long for this day, at least at bare minimum it is a day that nature persuades their men to show them love; and good men don’t disappoint.

Most men however either have no feeling about the importance of this day or use it to their advantage to lure innocent girls.
It is their lucky day if they finally secure a date with this girl they have been admiring. Sadly, most times it ends right after the date…

Just because you are alone this valentines does not mean you are abnormal. If you checked the gloomy statistics you will be worried for some who enjoy it.

I have heard it is the day most breakups happen. Others say it is the day many innocent girls lose their virginity to trigger happy boys. Don’t be quick to jump into conclusions since he/she offered you a date. There is a possibility it was in the euphoria of the valentine mood. If it’s the first date or among the first indications, taking it slow and allowing for a ‘sober moment’ would be appropriate.

Even more dismal statistics were released this week; it is the day most cheaters test their straying prowess. Question is, who is it you are spending this valentine with? Are you the mpango wa Kando or are you the real deal?

The disappointment is not reserved for the singles, some marriages take a ‘break’ for a week since the man either came back late at home or never came back (and the obvious place he was is at a mpango wa kando’s residence).

A pal of mine recently told me he would send flowers to the wife not because it means much to him but just to meet the expectations of his woman. In any case he doesn’t have to carry them since they will be delivered.

Another one told me: “We buy the flowers, and treat them on this “special day” to make them happy, not for ourselves.”

One married woman put it plainly.

“It’s fake and short lived; as flowers wither by lets say the 20th, so will the calls, the gifts, romantic coffee dates and finally one will discover that ‘she was meant for that season”.

Such is the attitude, the sad reality of our times.

However this was meant to be a happy day to express genuine love to each other. It should not be the solitary day to show love the entire year but a day to commemorate it. If you do it for the season it will end with the season. Its like your birthday, you celebrate it to remember and appreciate the day you were born, not that you are only special on that day.

Keeping the fire burning after this day is over is the trick here. The same romantic things you do on this day will still elicit same the feelings in him/her even in October. 

Wearing that red sexy dress for him, preparing that nicely done candle-lit dinner and giving him that special gift does not have to wait till next year. The flowers, chocolate or a night out dinner will still mean love to her during the rainy season in May. Then it will be love all year around…

Gifts are not love but an expression of love. So like my pal noted, if you do it because everyone else is doing it or because you have to do it, the ‘love’ will fade with the day and so will be your joy.

Reciprocated love is the sweetest of kind of love. It is the love that we receive from our partners as a consequence of the one we shared that leaves us so fulfilled and confident in our relationships. To enjoy this year round means we keep doing those special things we do on valentines beyond February 14.

Have a happy valentines and repeated romantic times all year through!

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