The obvious but elusive needs men have!


January 24, 2011 – Men are very predictable. Their needs very obvious and yet many times unattended!

A friend of mine plainly summed up the needs of a typical man to: a good meal, a tidy home, being adored and lots of sex! That is so bare yet so true!

I like Michelle Obama’s summary:

“All a Man needs is a patient woman to stick by and watch his dreams fall into place and to quit nagging.”

One of the greatest freedoms in relationships is the realisation that men and women are fundamentally different in their behaviors and needs. It’s bound to be frustrating for a woman to expect her husband to behave like her.

*Admiration is as important to a man as affection is to a woman

Men have an ego, and I am not sure that will be changing anytime soon. Luckily however, women can work around it to their advantage.

Many say that a man’s number one need is sex but I beg to differ. It is to be admired. Every man intrinsically longs to be praised and urged to keep doing good things. It is sad when this encouragement lacks at home but increases at the work place, at the bar or worse at the “mpango wa kando’s” house.

My wife once told me: “I will be here to support your dreams and when they fail I will not be waiting to tell you I had seen them coming down!”

That statement pushed my adrenalin to the moon. I was more challenged to dream bigger and follow those dreams. Once she gives me her approval everybody else can say anything they want.

It’s very sad that some women have perfected the art of pouring cold water on their men’s dreams. If you think his dream needs a ‘make over’ give you input wisely and soberly, and be part of it rather than discredit it.

The castle should not be greater than the king. The children and your job are very critical, but should never measure up to him.  He knows that those things are important but he doesn’t want to be placed second to those things.

A man wants to be accepted for who he is at face value. Quit trying to change him into your ideal man; rather support him to the best he can be.

*He wants someone to take care of him

I have heard this comment again and again: “men are like children. Immediately they get married they suddenly forget to do anything for themselves including remembering where their socks are kept.”

I agree, men love to be taken care of. A man wants a woman who can turn his house into a home i.e peaceful, neat and tidy, clean clothes.

Any man would feel nice to find his woman taking time to prepare his favourite meal without constantly HAPPY_MAN_2_549085904.jpgreminding him that she did it.

It is likely that if he is not taken care of at home, the secretary, the colleague or the call girl will do it. I bet you don’t want another woman to touch your man.

*He desires the home to be a haven of peace

Peace is one of men’s priorities. He wants to come home after a day of hustling to the place he rests and forget the strains of life.

Questions, complaints or nagging should not be the first thing he gets immediately he arrives home unless it is an urgent matter.

By nature men are hustlers. Besides the heavy workload, a responsible man is always working hard to secure a future for his family.  It is very refreshing for him when comes home and finds an ear for his troubles, dreams and future plans.

There is no man with a heart so hard that they cannot love if they feel respected, admired and wanted in their homes.

The peace loving care hungry man wants to take refuge at home, but too bad when the same home turns chaotic and the theatre of all drama.  The bar and the workplace take over this role.

Functional families are today competing with alcoholism and workaholism. Whereas the causes of these two disorders could be diverse the fact that your man is not finding fulfillment at home, could be one of the reasons he is coming home late or not coming at all.

Unlike women men are more or less logical. Their needs are more material than sentimental. It is the feeling of being accepted, admired and taken care of that brings out the loving, caring and responsible man our women so long for!



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