April 19, 2010 – It is true that when one goes through a “toxic” relationship they are bound to be extra cautious in future correlations.
One day, out of the blue, Lisa my pal announces that she is going to walk through the rest of her life a single lady. No more men, no more relationships!
Pretty strange coming from her at the time as she “was” in a pretty good relationship with this guy *Lou, whom I’d been sure was the man for her.
Although like Lisa, when you have been in hell-like relationships with super losers…(like there’s this one ex of hers who felt like it was his obligation to play Santa. He found pleasure in treating young college girls to shopping sprees and spa treatments…) you are bound to develop trust issues and you always have reservations deep down in your heart that all men are the same.
Lisa couldn’t handle another bad relationship so she had been doing random checks on her man. She checked his friends list on Facebook once in a while and had been finding notifications stating that him and some hot girl are “now friends.”
Yeah, so she had always gone through her man’s friends list on Facebook and would see lots of PYT’s (Pretty Young Things) added to his list daily. All who apparently had some striking similarities…very young yellow-yellows! He uses social sites to look for pretty women! But that hadn’t fazed her much as she also accepts strange friend requests.
One day while her boyfi forgot to log off from the site, Lisa took a peek at his sent items and couldn’t believe what she saw – plenty of inboxes between her man and several PYT’s that he initiated. According to the messages, he had even met up with some of them.
He had been e-cheating on her! Hence her decision…
Wanting to be there for my friend I carried out a mini research on what guys get up to on social networks. This I did by sending out a simple questionnaire to some random Facebook pals. I kept in mind that some men always flirt left, right and centre until I’ve learnt to see no harm in it.
Some of the responses I got:
*Lenny – “I am in relationship with a beautiful woman but I wouldn’t pass the chance to chat up beautiful women once in a while. I do it for fun though and would never ask to meet any of them. It is just harmless flirting and besides photos can be deceiving you know. I have a good thing going for me and I wouldn’t want to spoil it by being greedy.”
*John – “This is not even my real profile. I have two. One is for picking up hotties. I am in a relationship, but if I see a girl I like on FB, I don’t hesitate to add her as a pal and when she agrees to meet me, then I tell her the truth about who I am. I would totally go for the pretty girl and leave my girl if indeed she looks like her pics.”
*Adrian – “I add gorgeous girls every day. I appreciate beauty. I do ask girls to meet me all the time. Some do show up while some don’t. I’m a good guy though and I would totally look for online love anytime. Vibing a chic you haven’t met doesn’t count as cheating to me. I have to keep my options open and it doesn’t hurt to check out what could be out there that you would like to get your hands on.”
*Kyle – “I am rarely on social networks but I do have a profile which is solely for learning what my peeps are getting up to. I think picking up girls from such networks is tacky. It could come back to haunt you one day. I don’t bother with the girls there. The ones I know in real life are good enough for me.”
Hmm… with such responses I totally get why Lisa had been uncertain about her man. I do understand what she’s going through.
After all, she is looking out for herself and protecting what is rightfully hers…her heart!
I will support her further when she decides to take up knitting. I will even help her get a cat and build her a fireplace which will come in handy during lonely times in her old age.