February 16, 2010 – “Sex with a woman wearing her hair in a weave is like having a threesome with a horse!” This is what I overheard some dude grumble about and it really got me thinking about me and my hair, plus its occasional weave.

I did not wait to hear the rest of the conversation in case I said something ‘bad’, but I couldn’t ignore that his words had really disconcerted me.

I consider weaves to be like the hair rescue service for those of us with bad natural hair, such that I find I have my hair in a weave at least four to five times every year.

Most weave/wig haters prefer women who have their natural hair (long or short) or in braids – which they forget are still hair additions.

Having a weave is a hairstyle like any other – at least the weave wearers and makers will agree with me on this one. Anyway, is it not about what makes you comfortable? Isn’t the whole idea of hairstyles about what makes you feel confident and what gives you the “right” look? I mean, think about diversity as well, we can’t always look the same!

Over the years, weaves have helped me plenty. After a month of wearing one, my hair is always stronger and healthier. This is after damage incurred by the frequent iron curl and hot hair appliances – I’m an addict! Wearing a weave for at least one month gives my hair the chance to rejuvenate and use curling irons as much as I please.

Another thing, time is precious. With a weave you are guaranteed to spend less than three hours at the salon, and lessen the risk of getting hairstyles like the ‘New Mongolian Coif’!

The haters always say that when “we” have our hair in a weave we are aspiring to be like our Caucasian sisters – which I must say is SO not the case.

Most boys forget that African girls have African hair (which in most cases is nappy and has to be thoroughly oiled to get that ‘cool shine’) they are dealing with; they say they want us to have natural hair which they can run their hands through. Sigh! If you were to run your hands through my hair, you might as well have washes your hands with steel wool! (Such a silly name; steel wool!)

Not everyone should wear one though – it just doesn’t work for some people. Go for it if it suits you. There are those that always manage to look… so wrong. Also, get it done by an expert.

Knowing what you look good really helps. Don’t just go aping someone’s hairstyle because you thought they looked cool. You might end up looking like you’re wearing a very ugly mop. It is also wise to know when it is time to have your hair weave removed. A month will do – not longer – to keep it from reeking.

Weave haters; let us not forget that some people look really good in those very weaves that you detest. They give some of us that pulled-together look. They can brighten some of our usually dreary faces and above all, we could protect our natural hair from natural weather conditions that could be detrimental.