It is our men who need prayers

Self proclaimed ‘Apostle of Marriage’ Chris Ojigbani, a Nigerian pastor, was in town over the weekend for some special prayers and the ‘single’ ladies did not disappoint.

It is estimated that close to10,000 singles seeking husbands flocked to the Kenyatta International Conference Centre for the unique prayers. Indeed according to media reports, some miracles did take place and a few ladies gave testimony of marriage proposals before the end of the service.

The pastor was amazed at the size of the crowd and in his own words he confessed “I have never seen one like this.”

Looking at it critically, prayers for husbands are not new in our society. If you are keen, however, this is a real need and features prominently in prayer sessions and altar calls in our present society. I bet every church in this country has offered this intercession.

As I pen this, I want to confess that I’m lost as to what the problem is.  According to the 2009 census results, the number of men in the country is equal to women. The ratio is 1:1.  In other words, for every man, there is a woman. Better still, some men have more than one wife so our sisters must have the upper hand on this one.  Even widows have been inherited so it does not affect the equation.

To quote a friend of mine “exaggerations aside, the census dispelled the myth of more women to a man, the case is that there are less and less eligible men.”

The prayers for husbands’ discussion dominated our airwaves on Sunday with the usual bashing for our wonderful sisters. A female colleague actually labeled the ladies “our desperate Kenyan women.”

I was almost joining the bashing until some friends put across some sense into me. First, I was reminded that the women we saw at KICC and those seeking prayers in our churches are not looking for any kind of husband, they are seeking divine intervention for good husbands; godly ones for that matter. The men of today I was told are no longer ‘husband material.’ According to my friend, the number of men does not translate to prospective or viable husbands.

The responsible men our fathers used to be are extinct. Remember those days when daddy always came home with a parcel, probably a kilo of meat? When it was considered pride to be married? Those days are gone!

Most single men I was reminded are excited by the ‘hit and run’ business.  To be a hero these days means how many girls you have on speed dial. Chips funga has become a common feature in our society.

Honestly our ladies are always trampled on when it comes to getting partners. In our society bachelorhood is glorified and the title ‘most eligible bachelor’ is a coveted cap. On the contrary, talk about “the most eligible spinster” and you attract scorn, sneer, condemnation and the like. I truly feel for our ladies. 

Aunties have not made matters easier by the constant nagging. Every wedding is ripe ground to launch their arsenal, always telling the girls: you are next! I wonder who gets to tell our eligible brothers; ‘you are next!’

Due to this pressure, it has been construed that our sisters are a desperate lot, waiting in anticipation for this knight in form of a man to come rescue them. Don’t blame our sisters they simply have to seek divine intervention.

Some advice to Pastor Ojigbani: please change tact for our men also need some prayers and coaching, Organise a session for bachelors, both eligible and ineligible because they need it!

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