(Disclaimer: This is a fictional piece penned from the land of aliens)
I had a dream last night. I was in London, covering a press conference by Kenya’s High Commissioner to the UK, flanked by other envoys from Africa, Asia and the Middle East.
I recorded the statement in my dream and this is what Kenya had to say to the British people.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for attending this press briefing today. May I relay warm greetings from the President, Prime Minister and the hospitable people of Kenya.
The government of Kenya has been following the build-up to UK’s elections with keen interest. Owing to our historical relationship, it is the belief of every Kenyan that our country and yours are joined at the hip; we are siblings. Born of the same mother (the father may be debatable).
With every new dawn, it is becoming apparent that Britain is headed for a change of guard at 10 Downing Street, judging by the major opinion polls and media reports. Clearly, Mr Nick Clegg is gaining popularity by the day and his party, the Liberal Democrats appears favourable against traditional bigwigs – the Labour and Conservative parties.
However, the friendly people of Kenya are worried for their brothers, the British. As your friends and partners, Kenyans would wish to see the will of Britons respected at this crucial poll.
The British voters are speaking loudly, with one voice, that they want Nick Clegg to lead them into the next decade. But Kenya is concerned at the recent fear mongering that has picked up speed across Britain, and spreading like wildfire on major news networks.
Dear Britons, some of your political leaders have started touting the phrase “hung parliament” and spreading in you the fear that a vote for the Liberal Democrats would create a lame duck government with little capacity to address your pressing concerns.
Kenya would like to castigate in very strong terms those political leaders who want to hang on to power by such unscrupulous means as spreading fear among the electorate.
May we remind them, that Democracy is founded on the tenets of respecting the wishes of the majority. If the majority wish to be led by the hitherto “underdog” party, so be it.
Kenya, and indeed Africa, Asia and the Middle East, are keenly watching how these events unfold in Britain.
Let us assure the British people of our continued solidarity and support, but also remind the ruling class that any future engagements with the government will strongly depend on how the forthcoming elections are handled.
Democracy must not only seem to be respected. It MUST be respected and we hope to welcome Prime Minister Nick Clegg to our countries from June.”
When I woke up this morning, Skynews, CNN, BBC and Al Jazeera among others were still talking of Mr Clegg’s outside chance of winning, and how Britain was poised for a hung Parliament.
Sad that African envoys cannot hold such a press conference, isn’t it?