#TheSeven ways to maintain a good friendship after a break up

Are there times you miss your ex-being by your side, the good morning texts accompanied by love hearts, the handholding, the sweetest gestures that left you all mushy and loved? If this is the case I totally relate. But ever thought of the possibility of still being friends with him or her?

Trust me, half the times even though the break up was messy and you said stuff you did not mean, there is a way to maintain a friendship. Breakups are part of life, it’s the hard reality but a cordial approach can always be considered for the relationship to stay in contact with your ex.

Here are some of the ways to transition a romantic relationship into a friendship:

1. Apologize
Well, this all depends on if you hold grudges or are more the mature one to accept what’s done was done and see how moving on is possible. If a person wronged you, an apology would be in order to heal the heart. It does take a lot of pride swallowing but in the end, it creates leeway for conversation and a fresh start.

2. Change routines
You know sometimes breaking away from the routine is a good thing majorly because if you break away from the texting patterns in the morning, the evening and during the day and even late at night it will help remove those confused feelings from your heart. Instead get a new hobby. This will allow you to focus less on the heartbreak and move on.

3. Mute Them on Social Media
Well if the new hobby does not work for you. Mute them on social media. This might seem harsh but you are entitled to deal with pain in your own way. The less of them you see when scrolling your Instagram feed and Whatsapp, Facebook, and Twitter notifications allows for you to get into a routine of not thinking solely about them.

4. Spend Time Apart
Simply put stop texting or calling them, this will give you time to heal, if you by any chance reach out to them first be sure to know that you have opened the door for mixed feelings to come up.

5. Surround Yourself With Friends
Now see what most people do, myself included, is that once you begin dating someone, you get attached to hanging out with your boyfriend’s friends and put your friends in the back burner to wait for that time when he wants to be with his boys. I will say that is a poor approach to dating, the reason being if you share the same friends and don’t keep in touch with your old friends you won’t have anyone to cry to or vent to when the relationship goes south. Thus when you to decide to go hangout with your friends ensure that the place you choose does not reignite romantic vibes and memories rather choose a place that gives you platonic vibes.

6. Keep The Conversation Light and Fluffy

When you do bump into your ex, keep the conversation light and fluffy. That way, it ceases to be less about why you broke up and how they are faring. The more you repeatedly do that, you create an atmosphere whereby you can talk about general topics without diving back into the romantic feelings.

Dependent on their personality, expect them to move on too eventually. If you see them with someone new, realize that this is the reality, if they are not with you, well they will need someone to send them the sweet nothing texts, someone to just be with. So the sooner you expect this and even do role plays in your mind the sooner moving on will be easier.

7. Re-invent Yourself
Why it is important that you reinvent yourself is mainly so that you show them that life goes on with or without them, thus don’t allow yourself to get sucked into a pity party, instead go to Mombasa or Diani or upcountry. Take yourself for a date yes, it’s not lame, change up your hair, change your outfits, take a risk even if it is a small one. The reason I say this is because when you take a risk you prove to yourself that you still have it in you to make a bold move and achieve something solo.

michellenjeri :