The wise old saying, “once a cheater always a cheater” has been proven to be true, thanks to a new study by a University of Denver graduate student. While this may not come as a surprise to many, the study also showed that people who have been cheated on are most likely to be cheated on again.
Kayla Knopp, a psychology graduate, studied 484 unmarried 18 to 34 year-olds and respondents who have cheated before are three-and-a-half times more likely to cheat again. The research also gave credence that in a relationship, ‘people never change.’
Respondents who reported a lot of abuse, yelling or ‘drama’ were three times to continue with the behavior in their next relationship.
Before you start pointing fingers, just note that cheating is both ways and just because your significant other has cheated before, doesn’t necessary mean he/she will cheat but be cautious
Comedian Chris Rock has been quoted as saying “A man is only as faithful as his opportunities.”
So how does a young independent women out there deal with the troubles that come with finding love? To start with, if the dude you are dating was vybing you while he was still in a relationship, what makes you think he is not eyeing some other chic while with you?
Reasons why men cheat vary across the board and to be honest I really do not care for the reason because that does not justify the act. But for the purpose of this article, I guess we have to list a couple. Ladies, men cheat because they are bored with the relationship or have unrealistic expectations. Some even cheat because they have unfulfilled fantasies. Here is a scenario.
He has a dull home life and here walks in a pretty statuesque woman who is assertive and full of life, ready and willing to do anything and everything for your man. Of course he is going to cheat! (Unless, he is a faithful man.) Cheating can take the shape of emotional cheating, one night stands and even long term affairs. All these leave the woman with a lower sense of self esteem as well as a major distrust of men.
There is nothing more dangerous than a woman scorned joining the dating scene because finding love after such an ordeal is an uphill task.
A major indicator that you are falling for a cheater is that he will never be open and share information with you. This may be in the name of “enjoying his space” and maintaining his individuality but this is definitely a red flag.
A man who is not an open book especially when it comes to his activities or whereabouts is probably up to a lot of mischief. Remember that a leopard does not change its spots so if you are expecting him to change his ways after meeting you, you are definitely dreaming so wake up and leave and spare yourself the worst before it comes.
The second indication that your man is cheating would be how self-absorbed he is. A selfish man will never consider the feelings of others, even the woman he is in a relationship with. So if you notice that your man is very selfish and narcissistic then run to the hills!
Finally, I would advise you to watch out for sudden changes in behavior. Weather he is constantly checking his phone or completely changes his wardrobe and of course constantly lying.
All these can be subtle hints that a man maybe cheating. Now, I do not recommend you to go off at your man because he decided to get a few new pairs of shoes. Not at all, actually that may just mean that his old shoes are worn out. On the other hand, a combination of changes may indicate otherwise, so pay attention.
In conclusion, I do not purport to be an expert when it comes to relationships, I only speak from observations I have made. So do not make rush decisions or even take drastic measures because you suspect your man is cheating on.
However, I do urge you to be attentive and not to crucify your man based on your suspicions instead ensure that you have concrete evidence. Nevertheless, if you discover he is cheating, do not stay there in the hopes of “changing” him because that is a battle you win loose even before it starts.