Finally, the guy you have a crush on asks you out for a date. He takes you to a nice cosy restaurant. Like a true gentleman he opens the door for you, pulls the seat and even walks you home. A week passes by and the guy hasn’t called to check on you, leaving you wondering what you could have possibly done to put him off. The following are 7 things you should never reveal on your first date if you wish to have a second date.
1) Family secrets
We all have issues with our families. You shouldn’t bore your date with incendiary revelations about your parent’s rocky marriage, sordid tales of your rebellious sister or about the brother locked up at Kamiti. The thought of having your brother sticking the barrel of a Ceska in the poor guys head in the event he breaks your heart is enough to make him vanish. It’s only okay to share about your family secrets after he earns your trust, not on the first date.
2) Money matters
Do not reveal the number of prime properties your family owns on the first date unless you want to be judged by your family fortunes and not for whom you really are; character, aspirations and ambitions. Talking endlessly about your recent shopping spree in Paris on the first date may be misconstrued to imply you are a braggart and may put undue pressure on the guy to maintain the standard.
Don’t also reveal how awful your finances are unless he is running an NGO, refrain from revealing your inability to foot your utility bills as this will make you look needy/a gold-digger. With the current harsh economic conditions no guy wants to get hitched to a needy woman.
3) Exaggerating your life story
There is a tendency of exaggerating some details about your life on the first date in order to appear more interesting and adventurous than you really are. Please desist from this. Claiming to play polo when you think chukkers is an island in the West Indies or how much you love going for game drives when the closest you’ve been to the wild is watching The Lion King animation will only make you look fake and a wannabe. Do not try too hard to impress the guy. Just tell him straight that you aren’t a party animal and instead you prefer to spend your weekends curled up on the couch watching movies.
4) Ex-boy friend
“See this gold watch? My ex-bf gave it to me on my birthday…that’s the restaurant we went to on our first date…I’m still in love with my ex despite catching him in bed with my best friend.. ” Tell such stuff to your girlfriends or a shrink but not a guy, worst of all on the very first date.
Nothing turns off a guy like being fed with graphic details of a lady’s previous sexual exploits and how awesome the ex-boy friend was. He will always feel like he is living under the shadow of your ex.
5) How miserable and lonely you are
Every now and then we all feel lonely, lost and miserable. Revealing how you’ve been single for last 5 years or how you are losing the battle against the bottle may not work too well for you on the first date. This will only elicit sympathy love. If anything blossoms after the date it will be entirely what my friends and I call Corporate Social Responsibility Love (CSRL). CSRL is where you date a lady not because you have romantic feelings for her but out of the kindness of your heart (read charity).
6) Medical history
It’s a date for heaven’s sake and not a doctor’s appointment! Don’t go badgering the hapless dude with mouthful names of the ailments afflicting your health, the copious allergies you have or the medication you are presently on. Telling a guy about your poor health condition on the first date is an erroneous move.
Don’t also seek assurance on insecurities concerning your body. “Do I look fat?…Does my right boob look smaller than the left one?…My friends tell me that I have very big eyes, is it true?” These are the times he wishes you choke on the fish bone and stop talking.
On the first date, both of you will be trying hard to find some common interest. Sometimes talking about a mutual friend comes handy. If you have to talk about someone else please be rational. Shun talking ill about your friends or revealing their darkest secrets. We really don’t want to know that your well endowed friend also works as a stripper in one of the seedy nightspots downtown.
If a lady keeps talking trash about her friends all through the date it should worry you that she might tell others about you.
We know how much you love twitting, Facebooking, texting and sharing images on Instagram but when you are on a date have the courtesy of having your phone on silent mode and giving your full attention to the guy!