Who you marry is a very personal decision. However, in recent times the whole community has felt the need to impart their critical thoughts on what he should be or have. Firstly, he should have a degree from a reputable university and should be working towards defending his Master’s proposal. He should be older than you, make more money, be a Christian, from a good family and drink green tea.
I had the pleasure to listen to a friend’s relationship story and get her take on marriage.
She used to wonder why girls walked around with a list of qualities for the guy they would want to marry but she figured why not have her own and see how far along she would go with it, it had 15 qualities. Among them, he had to be educated, good looking like Idris Elba, family oriented and funny. Surprisingly 75% of them, she didn’t really believe in and dated against. So she burnt the list at the stake and discovered that the love of her life had always been there.
She met him 8 years ago on campus. They were introduced to each other by a mutual friend and he was so nervous but she found that cute. He requested that they meet for a date but she thought he wanted to discuss school work. Little did she know that he would be her soul mate. Over the years, they have had their fair share of challenges that have only served to make them stronger as a couple. When he started talking about marriage she found herself listing the people that needed to be okay with this decision. It ranged from her parents, pastor, distant relatives and even her girlfriends needed to give a blessing. If she decided to spend the rest of her life with him, shouldn’t that be enough?
The decision on who to marry should lie solely on you. Once you allow others to make the decision for you then you open up yourself to blame from others once things start going south in your marriage. However, you can only hope that their greatest contribution will be prayers that are in good faith because walking the journey with someone who has seen all that you are and is still by your side, cheering you on is definitely a keeper.
This article was written by Capital Campus Contributor Debby Bility.