Maybe you’ve been together a while and are considering taking a big step, or perhaps you just started seeing one another and aren’t sure if you should stay the course.
Whatever your situation, a check-in is never a bad thing. Read on for 20 tough questions to ask about your relationship before moving forward.
1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse?
Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you’re not putting your best foot forward?
2. Do we really accept one another?
There will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no one should be in a situation where they feel they aren’t allowed to be authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are.
3. Who am I?
How can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are?
4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?
The idea of sharing a life together is not to find someone to complete you or make you happy. But let’s face it: being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of your life … and fast. If you’re always fighting or just generally not feeling great about your twosome, it doesn’t mean you have to bail out (counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it changes things is a bad, bad idea.
5. Am I feeling trapped?
Do you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you’ve invested time or are you really invested in your mate?
6. What am I doing to hold us back?
Maybe you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling. Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up.
7. Is this relationship balanced?
Do you feel you’re both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support and sacrifice? Or is one of you doing most of the giving while the other just sits with their hand out?
8. Can we have fun together?
Have you ever seen two people sit across from one another in silence at brunch as though they are being forced to walk through their day together? Not. fun.
9. Can we have fun apart?
Co-dependency is not a cure.
10. Why am I in this relationship?
Is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you’re afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you’re scared to leave?