Dear young star,
Young man, I pray that these few words of wisdom will find you neither ‘high’ nor drunk so at the last word of this letter you may have a conclusive plan for your life.
I know that your age refrains from books and reading. You would rather spend your precious time checking out the latest vines on YouTube and ‘sexting’ endlessly on Whatsapp. This explains the ignorance being witnessed in our institutions of higher learning. Therefore, under the above considerations I will take upon myself keep my statements precise and concise.
1. Life is not party!
This doesn’t make sense to you, right? You feel something is amiss when you are not nursing a hangover or contented without having a fix to your oral fixation. You love the flirt of a loose lady and hear yourself loud blubbering of how you blacked out as an accomplice of debauchery. Alcohol was invented to make men brave and women loose after all.
While having a good time is essential for all, elevating it to a pedestal of priority is hazardous. Young as you are, you have three great advantages; youth, time and little responsibilities. Engage in constructive engagements so that you can challenge yourself and discover your strengths, learn some skills and enlighten other.
2. Misplaced priorities
There is time for everything, ambition is good but keep it on a leash. If given enough time and thought everything will fall into place then. This will keep disappointments and stress a bay.
You will come to realize that some of the definitions the world gives about marriage, love and success are self-centred, self-seeking and totally misleading. According to common norms the world equates success to power, privilege and wealth. On the other hand, true success has a lot more to do with who we are as individuals than what we accomplish.
If you chase money and power you’ll be blinded to the most important things in your life. In everything: honour, passion and hard work will see you rewarded.
Don’t forget the greatest thing you will ever do is being positive influence in your family, society and country.
3. Relationships and Women
Learn where to get attached and where to keep distance. Have it in mind that 25 percent of the people you will meet along in your life will never have a kind word for you even after extending an olive branch. For such, wash your hands and walk away. Don’t associate yourself where you are not appreciated. It’s their loss.
Remember that you will get married to one woman, meaning that 99 percent of your relationships will fail for that 1percent. As much as pain accompanies rejection appreciate the chance provided to learn from your mistakes. Its failures that refines men!
And when you fall in love look for these three: faithfulness, integrity and ability. Is she faithful i.e. is her word her guard, does her character match with what she professes and finally does she have the ability to love you for who you are? Of course you won’t marry someone with the same testosterone levels; let her physical attributes become secondary.
Many men know how to win a girl’s heart but few know the art of treasuring it. Treasure your woman and you will be surprised.
4. Learn the art of solitude
Social media has made us dependent on each other. It has become a very noisy world. Solitude provides time for oneself to reflect. Solitude is not loneliness; it is the peaceful time you spend with yourself without any distraction such as TV or phones. Why is this important? It gives one a chance to love oneself and derive happiness from within. I am responsible for my own happiness, not my wife or friends. Them they compliment my happiness.
It is important for a man to have time to reflect and rebase his esteem and self-confidence. Release his frustrations and strategize for his future. So when you get the chance to be alone practice the art.
5. Men and Leadership
Our generation has the most feminized male species from their dressing to decision making. It has come to a point you only identify a man by the flatness of the chest or the bulge of the pants. Our men make decisions on how the ‘feel’ and not what they think.
Men are wired to think so that they can provide solutions not evade responsibilities and accountability.
Every man was born a leader. This doesn’t mean you dismiss any lady’s opinion. You have to claim your ‘respectful title’ by proving you are worth the salt. A leader is not arrogant but rather gives cues. He is first a servant and has a teachable spirit. He is ready to accommodate and compromise where necessary.
Lastly, learn to acknowledge God in all your ways. You will never be disappointed.
By Anthony Muhia