The friend zone has taken captive many guys. A few have escaped alive but many have received life sentences with no possibility of parole. A guy willingly gets himself in the friend zone where the object of his affection sees you no more as a like one of the ‘girls’ or older brother. Meanwhile, you are dying inside with bottled up feelings wishing you could be more than friends. She calls you ‘bestie’ or ‘my boy’ but you want more than friendship. It gets worse. She tells you about her crushes, her feelings, when she us on her periods, her fears, dreams etc. Heck, her folks know you very well. But you are afraid to her how you really feel. There are a few things you can do:
1. Don’t get in too deep
Of course the first step of not being friend-zoned is not getting any where near that zone. Most guys think befriending a chic and developing a very close non-romantic relationship is the easiest way to her heart. Wrong! You only have a small window of opportunity between a potential boyfriend and the friend zone. If you like a chic after meeting a few times, exchanging numbers and establishing basic friendship, you better make your intentions clear. The best way of testing the waters without committing too much is by flirting. If she responds positively, you have the inner track my friend. If she doesn’t, take it a notch lower with genuine specific compliments.
2. Lose the ‘nice guy’ tag
You have heard it said countless times: Good guys finish last. Don’t listen to all the girl-talk about ‘ooh, all I want is a sensitive, kind, caring, responsible man’. If that was true, that man is always around her. YOU! What girls say and what they want are not necessarily the same. If you really like a girl, you have to mix the nice guy and the bad guy qualities. Granted, you don’t know how to be bad. But there are occasions where you need to be rude, stubborn and uncaring, unavailable. Ignore her calls sometimes… apologize for your behaviour, but not always. Girls are intrigued by bad/naughty buys. They are interesting, unpredictable, exciting. Make her get interested in you in the initial moments and you might just avoid the friend zone.
3. Take the risk
If you are at level 99 in the friend zone and the feelings are just burning on the inside, you have to take the leap of faith. For you to get the girl of your dreams, you have to come out of the friend zone. Truth be told, for you to get what you don’t have, you have to let go of what you have. You have to tell her how you feel. What’s the worst that can happen? End of that friendship? That’s ok coz you have had enough of that. She might actually harbor some feelings for you but ya’ll have been acting deaf and dumb. Take the initiative.
4. Go All In
One of the reasons chics get a bit skeptical about one of the ‘boys’ hitting on them is coz they are not sure how serious this dude is. So they will give you a hard time, brush you off or dismiss you. Don’t be cowed after you make your first move. Be persistent but not needy. The point is, you are planting seeds of hope and slowly coming into the picture as a ‘potential’. Show your seriousness by being consistent. Repeat how you feel a few more times and use your friendship as evidence of how you two can work it out. Of course if you have a bad reputation with your past flings, you have a steeper mountain to climb in convincing her but persistence wears out resistance.
5. Get allies
Girls value the advice of their girlfriends or sisters, if they are close. Before you make the big jump, consult with her closest friend. Get on her good books. It’s easier to tell her how you feel about her friend and she will give honest feedback. Win her and you have a foot in unless her friend has a secret crush on you!