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4 lessons to learn in your 20’s



In our early 20’s we feel invincible, that’s why we are so comfortable dressing like we are recipients of  donated clothes and spewing vulgar language at any chance we get to vent our frustrations. We will live for today and have a strong conviction we have everything figured out. We will get tattoos which we will regret once age catches up with us.

While all these sounds fun and exciting, life begins to take a different turn and you soon find yourself in a catch 22 situation; adulthood versus post adolescence. On your plate, you finally have the freedom you have been always been craving for since 16. Youth and energy oozing out but you’re without money and sense of direction. It is a period of self-doubt and confusion.

1. Learning from our mistakes.

We are addicted to the pain, drama, disappointment and hurt. Being in a state of happiness and peace is a very abnormal feeling. We will put up with toxic relationships and bad company to fit in. There will be an excuse always of why it is hard to let things go and afraid of losing control by letting things be. That is why many are depressed and broken. Isn’t life too short not to anticipate for more?

2. In pursuit for self-identity

We link our identity with grooming, gadgets, partners and crew we roll with. But the closer we approach the big 3-0, the more we see the vanity of these things. The mistake we make is letting people influence the way we think about ourselves. We try so hard to impress others that we forget the only one who can appreciate you for what you are is only yourself

What is your purpose, vision, values and beliefs? What do you stand for? For self- identity is not the titles and roles that others define you, it is what you have discovered about yourself.

3. Fear of commitment

This is a generation of quick fixes and always believes that the grass is always greener on the other side of the hedge. We want everything that is beautiful and worth recognizing but with little effort and discipline.

We are more committed to our smartphones and tablets. Facebook is our daily bread when we wake up, we pray when its battery its dead low, texting is the decent way of having a conversation, our side ‘bae’ during a date and we will end relationships to defend its password and Facebook or vines before sleeping.

As much there will be better opportunities ahead, they will only knock on your door once you start tendering to your own grass. Beautiful things are created with precision, care and commitment.

4. On understanding our self-worth

Do you look yourself in the mirror and admire yourself? Fall in love with the reflection so much that you vow to guard it with respect and always nourish it. No? (It sounds narcissistic)

If you don’t understand how to appreciate and love yourself and worth, how do you expect others to? Law of attraction; like kinds attracts each other.

Then why are we in toxic relationships? Why do we engage in self-destructive behavior and coin it as having fun? Why don’t we know that we deserve better?

We don’t respect ourselves enough to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer serves us, grows us or makes us happy.

Being in your 20’s is a chance to experiment your limits and lay a foundation for your future. We learn to get perspective through criticism and failure. Survival skills such as assimilation, communication skills and emotional intelligence become vital.

And when the going gets hazy and undefined we have our elders to look up to.

By Anthony Muhia