Got a unique style? It might boost your chance of reproductive success

beard man

Looking the odd one out may seem like a recipe for mating disaster, but it could make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

So said a study Wednesday which may also explain why fashions change.

Researchers in Australia used beards to test a theory that some features become more desirable when fewer people have them.

They showed women sets of pictures of men: clean-shaven, with stubble, or bearded, and had them rate the men’s attractiveness.

Men with beards scored better when they were surrounded by clean-shaved faces, and vice versa, the study found.

“In some cases, rarity in ornamentation can be advantageous,” said the paper, which may explain a puzzle of evolutionary science.

Under the theory of sexual selection, female animals choose mates with desirable features, which are often “advertised” through adornments such as colourful tail feathers in peacocks.

Logically, these sought-after features should eventually dominate the gene pool and less desirable variations weeded out — but this is not the case.

Instead, genetic variations are perpetuated across generations specifically because they give a survival edge with combinations of “good genes”, compared to the mainstream.

Scientists have long been baffled by the apparent contradiction, but now believe rarity of features, scientifically termed “negative frequency-dependent selection”, may explain some of it.

In guppies, fish which have the most unusual colour patterns have the most mating success — and they also happen to live the longest.

But how does it apply to humans?

Past research has suggested that hair colour variation spread through Europe on the back of such “novelty” selection, and that men’s preference for brown hair increases when it is rare.

Other work has pointed to mens’ preferences for unfamiliar female faces that, to them, look exotic.

The new research builds on this, giving a clearer idea of the value in being the odd one out.

It also highlights the advantages of being able to manipulate one’s look.

“If men tailored their grooming in order to be distinctive… that could confer an advantage to rare-beard styles that would decay as a style grew more popular,” said the study.

This could explain why fashions keep changing.

Novelty styles boost the chance of reproductive success because they stand out. Conformists then mimic these “influential early adopters”, which eventually leads to new rebels emerging in a cycle of change.

The paper, led by Barnaby Dixson of the University of New South Wales, was published in the Royal Society journal Biology Letters.

3 Reasons to have sex when pregnant


When you’re pregnant, your emotions might take a toll on your sex drive.  At first, hormonal fluctuations, fatigue and nausea might zap your sexual desire. As your pregnancy progresses, weight gain, back pain and other symptoms might further dampen your enthusiasm for sex.

But if your husband and you are in the mood, by all means – get it on.

Clinicians say that as long as your pregnancy is proceeding normally, you can have sex as often as you like.

Here are 3 reasons why you should have sex when pregnant:

Physical and emotional bonding between you and your partner

This is important, as you are about to embark on a new journey together as parents. The closer you are the easier it will be.

Preparation of the pelvic muscles for childbirth

Sex will help to keep your pelvic muscles toned and strong for the extreme physical experience ahead.


Being pregnant is a new experience and there’s no reason why it can’t be a new sensual experience too.

Adultery website says “Life is short, have an affair”


Canada-based adultery website’s slogan is “Life is short, have an affair.” With more than 25 million subscribers in 35 countries and USD $90 million in revenue last year, Ashley Madison is definitely tapping into a market that very few believed in.

Online infidelity numbers have soared since Ashley Madison launched in 2002 and founder Noel Biderman sees very little problem with providing for this demand.

“No one can show me a culture on the planet where infidelity doesn’t happen,” Biderman told The Sydney Morning Herald.  ”Infidelity was always there. The site fills a void in many married men and women’s hearts.” Further, Biderman shared with AFP, “This is not an online brothel. It’s a social network for like-minded people.”

According to Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, some 22 per cent of men and 14 per cent of women will cheat on their spouses at least once during their marriage.

But has the existence of sites like Ashley Madison encouraged infidelity?

Ashley Madison recently launched in South Korea. Within a week, 46,000 people had signed-up and Biderman said the company was targeting a membership of around 500,000 — or one percent of the total population.

If Ashley Madison were to launch in Kenya, would it be successful? Would you sign up?

Love, sex and football: Brazilian Lovers’ Day awaits World Cup

lovers day

Calling all football lovers …and lovers. June 12, Brazil. Put it in your diary.

The date isn’t just the big kick-off as Brazil get the World Cup underway against Croatia; it’s also Lovers’ Day in the host nation.

The coincidence of dates heralds a boon for entrepreneurs plying their wares in Brazil’s expanding sex toy market.

Manufacturers see a host of opportunities on what they have already dubbed “green and yellow sex day” in honor of the national colors.

“Don’t forget to make love,” urges erotic products guru Paula Aguiar, chairperson of Brazil’s Association of Erotic Market Firms.

“We propose that on this day there is a lot of love and sex. Everyone will be glued to the TV watching the football and will rather forget about everything else.

“But let’s see if they do remember to give each other a bit of affection,” said Aguiar, at Latin America’s biggest erotic fair in Sao Paolo, one of the World Cup host cities.

- Technological lust -

Aguiar said 52 of her colleagues will next month kick off a campaign of their own to ensure that the football does not kick sex into touch but keeps passions running high — and sales of sex aids with them.

In Brazil, June 12 is the equivalent of Valentines Day, February 14, in other countries and this year the sex industry is intent on making it one to remember.

And Brazil’s health ministry will do its bid by overseeing the distribution of millions of condoms as part of an anti-AIDS campaign.

With a population of 200 million, Brazil is Latin America’s biggest market for sex aids with 8.5 million vibrators, sex toys, body lotions, creams and lubricants sold each month.

Wholesalers hope the fair will boost their coffers by some 10 million dollars as they offer consumers a kaleidoscope of products from the cheap and cheerful to the latest silicone vibrators.

Some of the latter are kitted out with mini cameras to send images to computer screens, fetching around $250 as technology is placed at lustful lovers’ disposal.

- Extra time, with caipirinha -

Businesses hope the World Cup does not prove a distraction and some whose livelihoods depend on amorous activities are taking steps to make the most of the event.

“We have sports TV channels in our motel,” explains Diego Winterhalter, owner of a motel for couples in the southern state of Rio Grande do Sul and who attended the Erotic Fair.

“Just as offices empty out when Brazil are playing, so the motels fill up,” he told AFP.

He reflects that four years ago, during the World Cup in South Africa, his establishment was a victim of its own success.

“Our motel staff didn’t get to see a single match in peace during the South African World Cup in 2010 as it was brimful of clients,” he reminisced.

Erotic cosmetics firm INTT likewise has an eye on how to make a mint during the Cup.

It has come to the Fair to market an edible massage gel which tastes of ‘caipirinha,’ Brazil’s famed concoction of cachaca liquor, sugarcane and lime.

Naturally, the gel is colored green and yellow and is being marketed as “Hexa Brasil”, as the national soccer squad chase what would be a Hexacampeao or sixth World Cup title.

INTT are testing the market with a first batch of 20,000 units of the gel.

The Fair’s overall slogan meanwhile gives a nod to the football.

“Today is match day — and there will be a third half,” when lovers snuggle up for some post-play after the final whistle.

6 things he wants you to say to him in bed


Just like you, your guy wants to know you think he’s the bee’s knees. But that doesn’t mean you need to recite lines from his favorite porn scene or start meowing like a feral cat. Truth is, most guys just want to know that they’re turning you on and you’re not dreaming about the smoothie you plan on making when they’re finished. Here are six one-liners for those who want to genuinely tell him just how good he makes you feel (without getting in to full-fledged dirty talk).

“You’re just so big.”

“No one turns me on like you do.”

“You’re the best I’ve ever had.”

“I’m dying to have you inside me.”

“I masturbated to you last night.”

“Are you for real?”

And the one thing you should never say in bed, courtesy of yours truly:”I can’t WAIT to blog about this in the morning!” Ugh.

Have you said any of these before? Do you have any other suggestions? Even if you aren’t a dirty talker, per se, would you be down to say any of the above? What’s the one thing you wish you’d never said?






Kenyan artist designs colourful condom packaging for youth

kenyan condoms soi main

Soon you will see some colourful condom covers designed by Kenyan artist Michael Soi.

The Center for African Family Studies (CAFS) has partnered with Soi to produce five designs that will inspire young and sexually active people to protect themselves and be responsible.

Recognizing that the condoms in Kenya are either expensive or boring visually, CAFS decided to create a solution that would satisfy the young Kenyan population that is looking for something new and exciting.

“Michael Soi is a painter and social commentator. I document what’s happening in Nairobi,” Soi shares at his Nairobi studio, in a video produced by CAFS.

The colourful packaging works as a disguise for the condoms, which makes the youth more comfortable with carrying them around and also to be not as shy when they purchase them at a public vendor.

The condoms will be distributed through youth organizations. For more information, head to CAFS website

kenyan condoms soi 1

New partner? 8 things to know before sex


Before you get horizontal, you need to get answers.

Virtually everyone, at least theoretically, is risking their health with a new sexual partner. But how and when do you bring up the conversation of sexual health when you’re in the beginning stages of getting to know someone?

I doubt many people carry around medical records on dates, so it’s not like a person can pull test results out of their wallet. If you’re comfortable enough with the person, is there anything wrong with asking to take a trip to the doctor’s office? Even once the results are back, there is still no guarantee that everything’s good to go. So then it comes down to a matter of trust.

A closer look at statistics show that women and minorities carry most of the burden of sexually transmitted infections in the U.S., according to the Centers for Disease Control. Not only are complex, long-standing issues of health disparities among minorities to blame for this disproportionate impact, but simple female anatomy remains a risk factor as well.

Before hopping into bed with a new sex partner, have an open and honest conversation about your sexual histories, risks, and the last time you were tested for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Knowing someone’s test results isn’t enough. Even if your partner tested negative for HIV last week, it doesn’t mean he or she isn’t HIV positive. Most HIV tests can only detect the virus starting three to six months after infection—so you should ask about your partner’s sexual history for the past six months.

Here’s what you need to find out. Of course, you probably won’t get too far down the list if you just roll out the interrogation; but these are the questions you really do need answers to, one way or another. One option: Start by sharing your own history, and see what you get back. Experts suggest sharing your own history first to make this fact-finding mission seem less like an inquisition.

#1- What’s your HIV status?

#2- Have you ever had a sexual transmitted infection (STI)? Were you treated?

#3- How many partners have you had since you were last tested for HIV and other STIs?

#4- Have you been diagnosed with an STI in the past six months?

#5- If you have genital warts or herpes, are you having outbreaks? Are you being treated?

#6- Do you have any problem using a condom?

#7- What kind of birth control are you currently using?

#8- What sexual activities do you prefer?



Authored by Felicia Vance, BDO Staff writer

18 signs you are with the man you should marry


Amy Odell & Lori Fradkin of Cosmopolitan magazine very recently came up with a list of 18 things to look out for if you are currently in a relationship with the man you should marry. The list is quite straight forward and very accurate if you ask me. You can always know if he is the right one by the way he treats you, looks at you and cares for you.

#1. He always brags about you. If you get a promotion at work or even just win concert tickets he can’t resist telling everyone you hang out with before you even think to mention it. Because he’s your biggest fan (arguably next to your mom).

#2. He makes sacrifices for you — and you’re happy to do the same for him. He’ll move cities to live with you if you get a new job or finish grad school. You’re happy to make the next move for one of his opportunities.

#3. He shares the same values as you. You know you both want kids and expect to split the childcare equally. Or maybe you know you both want kids and he wants to take extended paternity leave. Maybe you’ve also agreed that you should each get 45 minutes to yourself to go to the gym every day or you plan to buy a home and move to the suburbs in five years. You know you’re on the same page with things that matter most to you because you’ve discussed them.

#4. Even after years together he still does little chivalrous things for you. Like open doors for you or carry you to your doorstep when your feet hurt after wearing high heels all day and you just can’t bear to walk one more block.

He’s your biggest fan (arguably next to your mom)

#5. He doesn’t try to change you. He knows you’re messier than him, that you always need a pet cat, and can’t cook to save your life, and all of that is all right by him.

#6. When you think about marrying him, the best part isn’t the wedding, it’s the idea of spending your lives together. The wedding is fun, but you really can’t wait for the two weeks right after when you’ll get uninterrupted honeymoon time.

#7. You survived a long-distance relationship. It was hard and scary, but you love each other so much that you were able to make the necessary sacrifices to make it through with a singular goal in mind: living in the same place and being together when it was all over.

#8. “I miss you” isn’t just a sweet thing you say. It’s a reality. Even if it hasn’t been that long (like, two hours) since you saw each other.

#9. You don’t like having a roommate and love having your own space, but you’d still prefer to live with him. You look forward to the end of the day, not because you’ll be done with work but because you’ll get to see him again.

Turn off to turn on: Reconnect with your partner during Earth Hour


Global leader and number one sexual well-being brand worldwide, Durex, will be celebrating Earth Hour this March by encouraging people to take the opportunity to reconnect with each other whilst the lights are out.

The wonders of technology help to bring people together, but is it a key factor in also keeping them apart? With today’s couples interacting with their devices more than each other, are gadgets and gizmos getting in the way of intimacy? Recent global researches have indicate that, more people are admitting to have used their smartphone during sex and the average Twitter users are having shorter relationships than non-users – is tech just turning us off?

So, Durex is suggesting that we all simply log off and switch off; escape the screen to embrace the dark and for couples everywhere to reconnect whilst the lights are off.

“Technology, coupled with the hectic pace of today’s life makes it challenging for partners to connect and bond on a personal level. As the world marks Earth hour day this year, we, at Durex, believes this would be an ideal time to #turnoff our devices and #turnon our intimacy. Let us take the time to reconnect with each other and turn off to turn on,” says Richard Perriera, Country Manager Reckitt Benckisers.

By not only turning off all lights on 29th March, but also switching off all devices, people can use this opportunity as an excuse to enjoy an hour in the dark reconnecting with the one you love.

Turn off to turn on!

Earth Hour is on 29th March 2014 between 8:30 – 9:30pm.

Things your dad should’ve told you about relationships and sex!

father-son(By OYUNGA PALA) The pressures of contemporary living have reduced the value of fatherhood to a sperm donor and a cash dispenser. A father is only as good as the bills he pays or the genes he provides.  At least that is what a lot of mothers bring up their boys to believe. That ‘good-for-nothing father of yours’ probably failed to meet his financial obligations to the family and in the process lost his respect and dignity in the eyes of his wife and children. For the good part, fathers are seen but not felt.

Boys pick up these cues and internalize their mothers’ ingrained prejudices and bitterness towards their fathers and growing up into insecure adults overcompensating for their inadequacies. Kenya’s social scene is littered with numerous examples of grown men crying out for validation. Men spend their whole lives totally unaware of their motivations, clueless as to why they react in certain ways and forever trying to be something that only exists in the fertile imagination of a woman’s desires.

Here are a few harsh truths that your dad should have told you, to help boot you out of the garden of illusion.

Society celebrates a man who can acquire and sleep with as many females as possible because in Kenya, we celebrate greed. The man who has more than he needs is assumed to be the happiest. It is a myth but since most people insist that you look happier riding in a Range Rover, you will be inclined to believe they are right.

A man with money does not need to be a gentleman or have a flat belly. Good manners and looks may make a few female heads turn but what really gets a woman’s heart racing is the assurance of security. Given a choice between good looks and money, the average woman would prefer a man’s inner beauty.  Beautiful women will leverage their looks to extract more financial resources and higher quality genetic materials from superior alpha males, so expect to be passed up for the player with money.

Size does matter. Women generally prefer men who are more physically endowed. Phallic worship is the woman’s best kept secret. When nature and genes denies one girth and length, there is still a way out. This is why men overcompensate for their lack of size. Generally, even if you show up short between the sheets, women will forgive you if the car you drive stands tall.

Contrary to belief, you will be judged by your sexual performance. Attached women feel obligated to lie about performance because they believe the fragile male ego can’t handle the truth.  The best way to become a skilled lover is to sleep with as many women as possible because feedback and experience is invaluable in harnessing a sexual skill. However, in your youth when you have stamina and time to do this, most women won’t be the least bit interested in bedding you. Soon after marriage, settled and secure, on meds, the same women who wouldn’t pay you mind, will bang down your door begging to be let in.

Generally in life, you tend to get what you want, when you don’t need it.

You are the director of your life. First learn to be yourself because given a chance; a woman will shape a man in her own image.