How to Have an Affair With Your Spouse

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Many claim that they are bored in their marriage and so turn outside or get lured outside. Though unfaithfulness has no excuse, how can two grown adults married to each other with sexual needs, spice up their love and sex life?

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1. “Have secret codes”

Call each other secret intimate names that only you two know. This adds thrill between you two.

2. “Have no boundaries on what you can tell each other sexually”

You should express all your sexual thoughts without inhibition to your spouse, not an outsider. No editing your naughtiness.

3. “Don’t over spiritualize sex”

Don’t over spiritualize love making and your marriage to the point where making love is viewed as less Godly. True spirituality merges with the physical and emotional needs in love making in marriage. A lot of people feel frustrated because their spouse has a negative view towards sex.

4. “Emotionally be available for each other”

Let your spouse be the person you can lean on, the person you can tell how you truly feel. People have an affair with an outsider because they feel emotionally disconnected from their spouse. Stay emotionally connected to your spouse.

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5. “Plan for love making”

In affairs, there is a longing, a build up to sex. In marriage, have moments when you two scheme how you will make love. Plan everything. The time, the romance, the use of petals on the floor or extra sweet actions of love, the purchasing of massage oil. Prepare your spouse by telling him/her what you will do to his/her body. Have moments when making love is not the only agenda.

6. “Give each other no stress”

The person people tend to have an affair with don’t give stress, instead, they are a stress reliever. Affairs are built on a place to escape to. Don’t be the person your spouse wants to escape from but, be the person your spouse wants to run to.

7. “Give your sexual parts a name”

His penis should be given a name and her vagina too. A name that only the two in the marriage know. Secret names make two people feel they have something special going on.

8. “Talk more than domestic stuff”

Don’t let your marriage be reduced to talking about domestic issues: house rent, bills, children’s report card, bills, chores, responsibilities, in-laws. All these are good but be exciting. Be fun. Talk about life. Joke around. Have a good time. People run to affairs because they are a break from the domestic matters.

9. “Be playful”

Gently grab her butt. Stroke her thighs unexpectedly. Rub his penis without warning. Grab her waist. Spank each other. Be suggestive. Tease your spouse. Lady, bend down deliberately so that he sees your nice butt, rub your butt on his penis as you cook.

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10. “Flirt”

Alot of flirting goes on in affairs; whether on the phone or face to face. Flirting should take place in your marriage. Talk sexually to your spouse even when you’re far from each other. As you cook, or do chores; flirt with each other.

11. “Be secretive”

Don’t tell your friends about your sexual marital experiences. Keeping those experiences a secret heightens their thrill. This is why affairs are often kept a secret.

12. “Go beyond the marriage bed”

Making love shouldn’t happen in the bedroom only. Get creative. Make love in the shower, on the sofa, kiss up on the wall, make out. Affairs get their allure because of their lack of rules. There is no rule that making love or making out should be done on the bed alone.

13. “Play music that sets the mood”

Play some love songs, slow jams. Have songs that remind you how that intimate moment last night was sweet. Your marriage will come alive.

14. “Travel”

In affairs, people go for road trips and travel, they book hotels. Do that with your spouse. See the world. Make new experiences.

15. “Have a bedroom make over”

The same look in the bedroom will eventually get boring. After a long while, change the decor and settings of the bedroom to inspire a fresh flame.

16. “Look the part”

Don’t get comfortable. Work on looking sexy. Invest in lingerie, stay clean, smell good. Don’t be the same old person to your spouse.

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Dayan Masinde

Dayan Masinde is a Nairobi based Kenyan artist specializing in Poetry, Fine Art, Portrait Art, Murals, Creative Writing, Music, Illustrations and Animation. He is often described as "The Artist Inspired by Love" because of his use of artistic expressions to inspire, celebrate and help understand the mystery of love. His poetry book "WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE" is available for purchase worldwide on amazon.

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