Neighbours send letter to noisy neighbour encouraging more sex

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Neighbours disturbed by sex noises at night wrote a letter to the man next door egging him on.

A group of flatmates were so impressed by the loud antics that rather than moan and groan about it, they encouraged the virile male to keep on going.

In a typed note that has become an internet sensation, they penned: “Hello neighbours.

“It’s cool and all you’re getting laid and stuff, but the bed squeaking is getting really annoying. I’m not asking you to stop. I ain’t no douche.

The group then advised: “Tighten the screws, or tie that b***h down, have sex on the floor or the couch.”

And finally, in the spirit of having “safe” sex, they added: “To show we are cool with you getting laid, we have included some condoms for you to use… enjoy the sex… try to be safe. Don’t want a kid walking around anytime soon.”

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