How To Keep Your Partner From Being Insecure

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1. “Keep no secrets”

Secrets make your partner feel uneasy and suspicious of you. Be open and transparent.

2. “Don’t flirt with others”

Many flirt and argue it is not cheating as long as they don’t have sex with others. But flirting is the first level of cheating, why speak and write to others things you should only be saying to your partner? Your partner will think if you can flirt, may be you are or will do more unfaithful things.

3. “Say ‘I love you’ often”

Affirm your partner. Tell your partner of your love when you end a phone call, when you kiss, out of the blue, in the middle of a conversation. If you affirm your love less or you stay too long without saying it or your partner must ask you ‘Do you love me?’ for you to say it; your partner will become insecure.

4. “Know each other’s friends and family”

When you are known to each other’s close bonds it acts as security, that what you have is something serious and surrounded by the closest people in life. When your partner only spends time with you and feels hidden from your family and friends, he/ she will begin to feel like a secret love whose position in your life and heart is not cemented.

5. “Don’t compliment another person more than you compliment your partner”

It’s OK to give genuine compliments to people and appreciate others, but your partner should be the target of your lavish compliments. When you talk highly about others and praise them above your partner, your partner will feel little in your eyes.

6. “Keep your ex at a distance”

An ex can become a big threat in your love. Your partner needs to feel safe by you keeping your ex at a distance. It’s OK to keep contact with your ex if you must, perhaps if you have a child together or maybe even remain distant friends. But if your ex still makes moves on you, kill any form of communication.

7. “Declare your love publicly”

Public display of love offers security; when you introduce your partner as “This is my man/ woman/ husband/ wife” Don’t let your partner feel relegated to the level of other people. If you are a couple act like couples, be seen cozy together, people should assume you are a couple even before you tell them. Either you are in or not, don’t make the excuse that you are keeping your partner a secret because people will try to come between you two or you are shielding yourself from shame and ridicule in case you two break up.

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8. “Apologize when you  do wrong”

Saying sorry makes your partner feel you care about his/ her feelings and makes your partner feel safe.

9. “Explain yourself”

Don’t wait for your partner to force you to explain yourself, don’t frustrate your partner by making decisions without involving each other. You shouldn’t be hard to figure out. Let your partner in on your thoughts, explain why you do what you do, be easy to love.

10. “Keep your partner as a priority”

Life will place so many demands on you; but your partner, your family should feel top of your priority list, not easily pushed away and only thought of when you are bored, horny or when it’s convenient.

11. “Spend a lot of time together”

Whatever you value you allocate time for. The more you spend time with your partner whether physically, online or one on one, the more secure your partner will be.

 

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12. “Alert your partner when you are about to get busy”

In as much as you want to spend a lot of time with your partner, it will not always be possible. Sometimes life will get busy; when it does, prepare your partner. Alert your partner when and why you will be unreachable. Keep your partner in the know on how your schedule is. And even when busy, make that few seconds phone call or send that brief text saying “I miss you. I love you”.

13. “Call each other a love name”

Find a sweet name to call each other, a name that you will not call any other person by; something like My love Honey, Baby, Sweetheart.

14. “Don’t handle your phone like a suspect”

If you have nothing to hide you hide nothing. When with your partner don’t put your phone on silent, don’t switch it off, don’t walk away to answer phone calls away from your partner; this only fuels suspicion. Allow your partner to answer your calls when you can’t, to hear you speak with others on phone. Let your partner feel you have nothing to hide.

15. “Don’t be defensive”

When your partner confronts you or asks you questions he/ she is entitled to get answers to; don’t become defensive or make your partner feel he/ she is at fault for asking. You are to be accountable to your partner. Only suspects become defensive and make their partner appear the bad person when their partner asks questions.

16. “Don’t change for the worse”

Your partner chose you, married you because you treat him/ her good. Now that you are a couple, years later, don’t change, don’t take your partner for granted, don’t become casual and insensitive, don’t stop treating your partner as someone special.

17. “Don’t make your partner feel replaced”

Now that you’ve stayed together for long, don’t be lured by someone new. Your attention shouldn’t start targeting a new wonder in your life. No one should take your partner’s place.

18. “Keep your partner’s secrets”

When your partner confides in you don’t break his/ her trust. Keeping secrets shows security.

19. “Tell off other suitors”

When other people try to break up the two of you, tell them off. Don’t let your partner fight the person trying to tempt you, you be the one to tell that person to keep off.

20. “Defend your partner”

Defend your partner’s name, keep your partner’s honor. Stand up for your partner when he/ she is being talked badly about by your family, friends or the public. Let your partner find in you a soldier to ride with through thick and thin.

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21. “Maintain a healthy sex life”

It is scary when the person you are married to and faithful to no longer wants to touch you or make love to you. It is the surest way for your spouse to feel insecure, thinking you must be getting sex from someone else. Don’t let each other feel this way, find ways to spice up sex, if the bedroom has become boring.

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Dayan Masinde

Dayan Masinde is a Nairobi based Kenyan artist specializing in Poetry, Fine Art, Portrait Art, Murals, Creative Writing, Music, Illustrations and Animation. He is often described as "The Artist Inspired by Love" because of his use of artistic expressions to inspire, celebrate and help understand the mystery of love. His poetry book "WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE" is available for purchase worldwide on amazon.

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