#GirlAbout30 : Women, Age, Sacrifices and Relationships

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Ending a beautiful relationship because staying in it would have meant moving countries for good in the future was just one of the hardest sacrifices I’ve ever had to make in life but it certainly wasn’t the hardest. Ending a beautiful relationship because I could see that his heart would be better off with a particular someone else that he still had a soft spot for, was! As much as there was enough love between us, I knew it was time to put  my introvert foresight powers hat on so as to mend that which was not yet broken.

With him I could always tell that his heart was three-quarters in from the get go and I wasn’t about to put both my feet in where there was space for only one and a half feet. I knew in my heart that things would be much better for both of us if he ended up with the other woman. And it turns out that I was right! I made a sacrifice that benefited somebody else. Hurt like hell it did for sure but I decided to settle for the gratifying feeling that deep down I had done the right thing. See, as a woman age does not only make you older, it makes you wiser and that much sexier-at least that‘s what I’ve learnt along my journey. The wise ones have also said time and again that “Some of the best advice you’ll ever get will come from your gut instinct.”

I wasn’t anywhere near 30 then but I knew that my happiness had a huge part to do with the  sacrifice I made. Would I do the same now that I am actually 30? YES! Because I know that everybody needs to look out for themselves first and besides, by a certain age, every woman should know when to try harder and when to walk away from it all.

In relationships, we tend to make decisions that we live to regret in the future and this is because in most situations the brain refuses to work closely with the heart especially when you get to a certain age. It is not a secret that women are the more emotional sex and so we are the sex likely to make major sacrifices pertaining to relationships. I was reminded of this the other day as I indulged in my once a month “Sex and the City-Pyjamas-TV remote controls-Keep phone away-Kind of Day” also known as “A date with my favorite girls”. I realized that all the girls had had to sacrifice one thing or the another, things they valued and cherished for the sake of love.

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*Carrie left everything… a flourishing career, her friends, her nice Manhattan apartment, her popular “Sex and the City” column, her life… to move to Paris with a man who wasn’t quite in the business of falling in love and who ended up leaving her feeling all alone and away from home. She got slapped while at it too.

* Marriage and children were the two things the career-focused Miranda was sure she didn’t want in her life but she ended being the second one of her friends to get married because she got pregnant and wanted her child to grow up in a happy family setting. Children especially, she would say would ruin her flourishing career and she even tried to get rid of the pregnancy but in the end decided to keep it.

*Samantha gave up a very busy sex life because that is the only thing she could do to prove to a man that she was capable of  loving one man -although she wasn’t too thrilled about possessing this particular capability. At some point she even exclusively dated a woman and a very old man sacrificing her steamy night sexcapades just because she was willing to try and see if she can commit to one person.

*Charlotte also ended up becoming a Jew and went the whole way to learn the ways of Judaism so that she could marry the man she loved.

Sacrifices galore all over the place!

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Relationships and dating in general after a certain age become pure tricks! I heed by what an 80 year old man once said… “Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.” The funny thing though is that my friends have gotten married/are dating the exact opposites of their former ideal men. Those who would have never looked at a short man twice are married to shorties and those who were only into men who possessed abs for days à la  Shemar Moore have ended up with fatties who possess bellies that could put wine barrels to shame.

I will be the first to admit that age makes us panic a little, ok a lot, and this leads us to think on panic-stricken state of minds. You will realize that with age, the pickiness in most women gets turned down a notch or ten but not me…with age I’ve become even pickier when it comes to choosing a partner. (Yes, panic is making me work in reverse.) When we were younger, we got into relationships and just loved and enjoyed the relationship. The first kiss, holding hands, first movie date… but the sad situation is that as you grow older every man you meet you can’t help but go through your check list to see if he will make the perfect Mr. and this is something that cannot be helped in women who are especially 28 years and older.

The other day someone I know got engaged. She is well in her 40s, has three kids from previous relationships and she has still managed to bag a man who intends to be her life partner. Upon hearing the wonderful engagement news, I thought back to myself and my being picky situation which got me thinking  that I may just have  to start learning how to be a cat person… caring for them, loving them,  living with them and maybe even following @cats-of-instagram to get my cat skills on because at this rate I think I will need about 5 or 7 of them in the future.

Also, anyone with pointers as to where I can get white cats with blue/brown eyes, point me towards that direction you kind person.

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MAUREEN OJUNGA

Maureen Ojunga is the newest Health enthusiast in town. She is also a gadget freak and a lover of all things WINE! Besides being a lover of life, she enjoys writing Relationships and Sex pieces and is also an Interior design junkie.

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