Understanding and Loving the 21st Century Woman

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1. She makes her own money. A man doesn’t impress her by showing off his money. She is attracted by a man’s character and substance.

2. She is not afraid to express her feelings. If she likes you she will tell you, if she wants to see you she will let you know or even ask to meet you. She will not sit and wait for a man to find her, she will mingle and talk. You will notice her.

3. She is powerful and confident. She has her own mind and is opinionated. If you are a weak man with low self-esteem, her glow will intimidate you.

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4. She cannot be put down or be looked down upon. As a man, treat her like an equal, not as one above her. She is not afraid to put a man in his rightful place if he is puffed up with pride and has a big head.

5. Her time is precious. She is busy in school chasing after her PhD, she is running her business, supporting her parents, working. She multi-tasks; this superwoman. She has no time for games. So if you want her attention, man, you better be serious.

6. She can cancel on a date with you, not because she is avoiding you, but because she has a lot on her plate. When she cancels on you she will later make up for it big. She wants you to respect her time too, if you must cancel, have a good reason why and do so courteously. She is not sitting through life waiting for you, she has things to do.

7. Getting her phone number is a big deal. Her phone number is a guarded secret. But even if you are one of the men she is not interested in and you get her number, she is unapologetic about ignoring your phone calls, or blocking you or telling you boldly to stop calling.

8. If your conversations are boring, cheap or those of a pervert, she will ignore you. She is under no obligation to respond to every chat or conversation.

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9. She is fashionable and trendy. She lives in a good house, puts on some make up, perhaps drives a good car, posts stylish photos online. You might think she is materialistic and superficial but when you get to know her, she is a simple woman.

10. To please her, you don’t need to be extravagant. It’s the little things that touch her heart: treating her with respect, being loyal to her, giving her your precious time, anticipating her needs, touching her properly.

11. She is well educated and exposed. To stimulate her mind, wow her with your depth. She finds a wise and intelligent man very sexy.

12. She can see potential in a man. She comes into a man’s life and builds him. She is a force, a one woman army.

13. She makes the man feel he is in control as she inspires him. She encourages him to make steps by how she treats him. She has mastered the art of gentleness and the power of a woman.

14. She speaks her mind. If you hurt her, if you do wrong; she will let you know. Her voice cannot be silenced.

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15. In a world of technology, a world of Skype, WhatsApp, dildos and sex toys and sex tapes; she still desires the good old fashioned love. The pure love of a man.

16. She gets into a relationship, not because she is incomplete, but because the man offers something she can’t have on her own: companionship. She gets in, to give love and receive love.

17. Her heart has been broken in the past and so she can be defensive and doubtful at first. She is forward, yet cautious. She doesn’t beat around the bush, she is a straight shooter, real and honest with you. When she loves, she loves with her all; though for her to get there she will need some convincing.

18. She is good-looking and a keeper. Man, you are not the only one who notices her. If you waste your time and friendzone her for long, another man will get to her. She wants a man who knows what he wants.

19. Even when you become her man, be prepared because other men will still notice her: she is brilliant, successful, smart, cultured, well-dressed. But don’t be insecure, she has chosen you.

20. She is not naive, you can’t fool her. Eventually she’ll know the truth. If you mess up, she is not afraid to leave you. She knows her worth.

21. Just because you propose to her doesn’t guarantee you will marry her. If you start giving her crap she can call off the wedding. She takes care of herself. She’d rather be single than tolerate a messed up relationship.

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22. Marriage is not all that she is living for. So don’t expect her to kill her dreams just because she is your wife. She will be a good wife and mother as she builds her personal self.

23. You giving dowry to her parents is not payment for her. You did not buy her. She is not your property, she is the woman who blessed you by being your wife.

24. She has no problem submitting to her husband, but he has to be a man admirable and worthy of submission. Submission doesn’t mean she is beneath him, it just means she as his queen is respecting him as her king.

25. Her voice must be heard, she cannot be sat on. In marriage, she expects decisions to be made together as a team. She is not her husband’s rubber stamp, she must be involved. The house will not be a home if she is disrespected.

26. She will not get pregnant just because the husband demands it. She will get pregnant when she and her husband plan to. They talk about all factors. She is in control of her womb and decisions of her body.

27. She is sexually aggressive. Sex is not the preserve of her husband. She can initiate sex, ask for his sex, blow his mind with creative positions. She is sexually alive

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28. She is a great manager; managing her husband, her children, the finances and future of her family. She shines even outside the home in her career life. She is the type that makes her hubby proud.

29. Man, as her husband, if you cheat on her, if you beat her up, if you try to destroy her; she is courageous enough to divorce you and leave you. She is not at the mercy of you. Her entire life will not be subjected to stress because of an irresponsible man who broke his marital vows. You are not doing her a favour by loving her. She is not like the unhappy married women of previous centuries who suffered all their life in silence.

30. If sadly what she has with her husband ends, she is not afraid to be a single mother. Single parenthood is not ideal, but if the man proves to be hard to deal with and a hazard to her life and peace, she will raise her child/children alone and even sacrifice her desire for a man’s love, just so that she can be the best mum.

31. She cries, she hurts; even though she publicly displays a smile. She is not that hardcore. Beneath that no-nonsense, tough demeanour; she is a woman, a gentle fragile soul. To touch her, show her care, understand her, give her warmth in this world that can be so cold.

32. She is her own woman. She will not get married because her peers are doing so or because society is scaring her about her age. She does things for herself, it’s her choice. She can be stubborn or even complicated sometimes. But when she loves you, it is her choice, her heart is fully yours no matter what anyone says.

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Dayan Masinde

Dayan Masinde is a Nairobi based Kenyan artist specializing in Poetry, Fine Art, Portrait Art, Murals, Creative Writing, Music, Illustrations and Animation. He is often described as "The Artist Inspired by Love" because of his use of artistic expressions to inspire, celebrate and help understand the mystery of love. His poetry book "WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE" is available for purchase worldwide on amazon.

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