Let’s face it: No woman likes to waste her time dating the wrong guy, but it happens all the time.
The first few dates are a whirlwind of nerves, stress, lust and your mind is consumed with details that don’t really matter in the future or impact the longevity of the relationship: What should I wear? What will we talk about? Should I let him kiss me? Should we have sex tonight? Will he like me enough and want to go out with me again? Should we hug to say goodbye? Do I smell? Am I wearing too much perfume?
Before you know it, you’ve gone from a few dates to “seeing” each other regularly, and then, “officially dating,” and you become emotionally invested before you’ve had a chance to really ascertain whether he’s the right guy for you.
Suddenly, three months in, you begin to see red flags and you notice that he has commitment issues or doesn’t care for your friends, and now you have to decide: Do you stay with him and hope things will change? But you’ve already invested so much time in him… Or do you cut him loose, end it before it gets worst or even ugly, and move on (yet again)?
You don’t have to waste months or even weeks on the wrong guy. As much as we want to believe that a man’s undesirable qualities come “out of the blue,” they’re usually there all along, even on the first date.
Here are 5 clues to look out for on your first date:
Treats restaurant staff poorly
Rude, impatient and inconsiderate behaviour towards service staff is usually a clear indicator of what is to come. Service staff deserve the respect of everyone, even if their job is to provide service.
Does he seem preoccupied with himself or even his phone? Does he face you when you speak? Does he seem engaged with your company? If someone if interested in spending time with you, he’ll show it.
Reactions to unexpected circumstances
Your dinner reservation gets unexpectedly cancelled by the restaurant – does he flip out? Or, does he react calmly and suggests having dinner somewhere else?
One’s general etiquette: at the dining table or even as simple as holding the door for someone can give a general idea in upbringing and also hint to what’s important to him – the smaller details matter.
Saying thank-you when appropriate is always important. A sign of graciousness and generally, humbleness – someone who has those values is definitely a keeper.