What to do when your partner gives you the Silent Treatment

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couple fighting

1. Relax. Know that tough times and challenges will be there. Don’t be irrational or frantic. Exercise patience.

2. Look back. What brought about the silent treatment? Something you said? Something you did or didn’t do? Misunderstanding?

3. Pray about it. Let God reveal to you how to go about it. Repent to God if you’ve done wrong. Pray that God makes your spouse’s heart moldable and receptive.

4. Apologize even if what you said was right. Apologize if how you said it came out wrongly. Love is not about proving who is wrong or right. What you need is for your spouse to warm up to you by you showing you are understanding. Say sorry as you give eye contact, but if you are being avoided, write a text or a letter, reach out.

5. Don’t over apologize. Do one good sincere apology then give your spouse time for the apology to sink in. Don’t nag.

6. Play music that calms and warms the heart. Play love songs, spiritual music in the house. Praise and worship God so that the presence of God feels the home. In the fullness of God there is fullness of joy.

7. Present yourself to your spouse, be around your spouse. Even if you two won’t talk, just be available.

ignore

8. Start light conversations. Don’t bring up the topic or tell your spouse to lighten up and stop acting cold. Attack will only make your spouse defensive.

9. Tell your spouse how your day has been even if you get cold or brief feedback. Your spouse may be silent but you talk just like you used to. Be happy and smiling. Your warm demeanor is attractive.

10. Do for your spouse things he/she likes. Cook your spouse’s favorite meal, buy your spouse the movie he/she likes.

11. Give warm eye contacts.

12. Dress sexy in bed. Do something different in the bedroom. Go all out in arousing and pleasing your spouse. Make love, intimacy breaks down walls.

13. When your spouse is now more intimate with you, talk about the matter in depth, each giving their opinion without being judged. Talk about the root cause, how it feels. Tell your spouse it is difficult to deal with matters when you give each other silent treatment, but still telling your spouse you understand why he/she went silent.

14. Apologize once again. Forgive if wronged.

15. Agree on a way forward, how to deal with the issue in future.

16. Hug and kiss, cuddle, release. Say how much you need each other.

17. Pray for your marriage together that God will keep molding you two. Cover your marriage with prayer.

18. Make love, go back to loving, laugh, talk about other positive stuff. Wake up in the morning smiling.

19. Leave the matter in the past. It has been resolved. Move on.

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Dayan Masinde

Dayan Masinde is a Nairobi based Kenyan artist specializing in Poetry, Fine Art, Portrait Art, Murals, Creative Writing, Music, Illustrations and Animation. He is often described as "The Artist Inspired by Love" because of his use of artistic expressions to inspire, celebrate and help understand the mystery of love. His poetry book "WHEN ANGELS MAKE LOVE" is available for purchase worldwide on amazon.

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