1. Talk

I will not play the gender card here either.

Some people are more verbal and others are not, and I don’t believe this is a man or woman thing. Instead, it’s a hodgepodge of how willing we are to share, if words are the way that we show love, and likely, too, of how our families expressed themselves, etc.

Yet, don’t misinterpret that we do need to talk through things. No – we need to talk through everything.

Get used to it.

If words are not your best form of expression, then consider writing down what you need to say. More, if you – like I – am extremely… passionate (read: hot-tempered) individual, then consider occasionally sending an email that gets ideas across better than can sometimes be conveyed through conversation.

2. Hugs

Hugging is hugely underrated. It helps forge a feeling of closeness and it also cuts through life’s tension that gets in the way of how we feel about our partners, if we could stop time and co-exist outside of work and child-rearing.

Raising children isn’t the only reason a relationship might go through a sexless or less-sex period. Illness and long distance are other possibilities – and my relationship has gone through all of these reasons.

I’ll never forget seeing my husband, then boyfriend, as I got off the plane to visit him across the country in New Mexico. I can still feel the sensations of his strong arms as they completely enveloped me, standing in front of him. That hug meant and said more to me about his love than any words could have. His hugs still make me feel wonderful.

In other words, hug it out.

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