How Porn is screwing up a generation of men

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(Oyunga Pala) The Whatsapp instant messaging service is convenient. It packs the advantage of free SMS worldwide and the ability to share pictures and videos on the fly. It also exposes one to friends of all flavors. The one-liner types. Hi! Sasa! Those who miss your voice, “Why are you so quiet these days?” The concerned. “Hey, I was just checking on you”. The Jokesters. Friends who dig up random and mundane funny videos. Then, there are the borderline perverts. That married friend who shares nudes or naked humour clips, as fun and casual entertainment without a second thought. Click the icon and picture of a nude woman with an arresting callipygian figure pops onto your screen. The accompanying message would read something like “Dhings!” signed off with a happy faced emoji. One is not supposed to take offense because in well-adjusted male circles, soft core porn warrants no more than a fleeting glance. It is embarrassing when one is caught staring but it is not a criminal offense.

I am fortunate to have been grown up before the emergence of the internet. I hail from a generation where access to porn was left to the industrious. Digging dirty content involved effort. Back issues of Hustler or Playboy magazine were rare sights. “Dirty” magazines were deemed contra brand material, only safe to read behind toilet stalls. Officially they were illegal and thus in high demand. Watching porn was a group activity because video recorders were limited. It evolved into a rite of passage for urban based teenage boys, who gathered around a video cassette recorder to satisfy their curiosity of the games adults play. In some colleges dorms, private screening of porn movies was regular weekend entertainment. Male students showed up to watch, in the sort same nonchalant manner one catches a kung fu action movie.

The point of view was always male and the act ended when the man climaxed. Among peers, the decorum was to act controlled and non-reactionary. There was a clear understanding that porn was fantasy and at best cheesy entertainment. It was not cool to get too excited. In real life, confidence was more often than not lacking around women. Accounts of sexual exploits were exaggerated episodes of all hype and no action. Topless pictures from magazines pin up were the cheap substitute. Pasted on walls of cubicles to reinforce the power of possibility. The model was mostly white skinned, blonde haired and slim bodied. Then the internet happened.

With it came an avalanche of pornography to satiate any explicit fantasy. The internet allows unrestricted access to hardcore porn. Anyone with access can indulge at will and anonymously. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. The internet has some black holes and filthy pornography is one of them. Millions have gone down that rabbit hole and lost their way out. Meanwhile, out in the open, soft core porn has gone mainstream. There is no need for a search button or a password. It finds you minding your own business. Soft-core pornography is an integral ingredient of the advertising allure. Sex and advertising go together like beer and football. The disclaimer in fine print reads, “No gentalia was shown in the passing of this corporate message”. TV shows and movies insert stimulated sex scenes as part and parcel of the entertainment formula. As standard as the happy ending.

Therefore when one sees teens grinding and dry humping at music concerts like hounds on heat, be cognizant of the power of the internet. A generation of young people are condemned to receiving all their sexual education through Google. Lost in a perennial search for the porn star lodged in their subconscious mind and addicted to pursuit of the orgasms. Young people who might never experience the perks of healthy sexuality.

 

oyungapala.com

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