Feel like you can’t get him (or yourself) to commit? There might have been red flags along the way that you missed. Here’s how to tell if your relationship is not on the right track…
#1 You never talk about the future
It’s great to live in the moment, but if you don’t make plans for what’s next, your relationship could end up being short-term.
“Making future plans is a healthy ingredient for a growing relationship,” says Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure. “It’s also an indicator of the commitment you have to each other.”
#2 He’s told you that he’s not the marrying kind
This seem like an obvious barrier to a serious relationship, but many women ignore it when men say this, thinking they can change him. It’s time to start taking him at face value.
“Men repeatedly tell women they are simple beings,” says Levine. “If he shows you or tells you who he is, then believe him. It will save you a ton of time and energy. Wake up! You’re Mrs. Right Now, not the future Mrs. [insert his last name here].”
#3 You’re keeping other guys on the back burner
Don’t expect a commitment until you take the plunge and jump in with both feet!
“Having other men in the periphery is often an indication that you know the main guy isn’t the best match for you,” says Levine. “Or that you’re scared to take the leap of faith into intimacy.”
#4 You have nothing in common except sex
If all you have in common is what happens between the sheets it may be hard to achieve the level of intimacy you really desire.
“Hot sex is more than satisfying and can give you a perpetual glow, but it’s not enough to make for a healthy balanced relationship,” says Levine.
#5 You have lots in common, but no sex life
If you’re missing this one important ingredient in your relationship, it’s likely there will be no next level.
“You don’t need another friend or a future roommate,” says Levine. “A solid relationship usually encompasses a best friend and lover.”
#6 You live together
If you’re already doing all the stuff that goes with married life without the formal commitment, there may be no motivation to move things to the next level.
“The old saying ‘why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ says a lot,” according to Levine. “Thinking of us as cows is degrading, but the overall meaning makes sense. Men are more likely to hold off from moving a relationship forward when they’re content and already getting what they want.”
#7 His parents are divorced
Sometimes parents can give us a negative idea of what marriage is or instill a lack of trust in us through their actions. “Our relationship role models are often our blueprint,” says Levine. “It may be all he knows.”
If your man feels this way, it’s important to talk through his issues and help him understand that your relationship is something totally different.
#8 None of his friends are married
If his pals aren’t in serious relationships, he may be less motivated to take the leap.
“If his friends all have a bachelor mentality, there is a good chance it can rub off on him, too,” says Levine. “Who we surround ourselves with often explains our behaviors.”
#9 You’re both acting like you’re single
Even though you’re coupled you’re still staying out ’til all hours, hanging out with friends more than each. If you want a more serious relationship, you both need to approach the relationship with an “us” instead of “me” mentality.
“If you’re enjoying other people’s company in groups more than the two of you being alone, you’re likely not content with what you have together,” says Levine.
#10 You don’t make time for the relationship
If one or both of you is putting work, family or friends first, it’s time to get your priorities straight if you want stay together.
“If your relationship isn’t your priority, then your relationship is likely not being nourished, which can create resentment and distance,” says Levine.
By Ronnie Koenig