How to ensure date #2 never happens

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Some dates are fun and others are well…Not! There are those times when I got home from a date and wondered why I even bothered and left the house in the first place! I have been through quite a number of horrible events that sometimes make me feel I’d be better off dating myself.

Just in case you are a guy stuck with someone you don’t feel like hanging out with or are on a blind date that you regret; here are some Do’s that would ensure you don’t get a second date with any sane woman:

1.Do feel nothing for your appearance. Don’t care to dress up for the occasion. Go with a tired T-shirt and sandals. Don’t make the effort to groom yourself. Just go looking like you just got out of bed. Better yet go with a heavy hangie and sleep right through the date.

2.Be very nervous. Fidget a lot. Put your elbows on the table, forget to look at her as she talks to you. Eat very fast and too much and while at it talk with your mouth full.

3.Don’t forget to belch very loudly…

4.Do flirt with the waitress and look at other women and make sure you comment on how hot they look. Talk about body parts that you like on a woman. Go the extra mile and talk about your sexual endeavors.

5.Do invite your uncouth, foul mouthed friends over. While at it talk about women’s body parts. Order a huge plate of boiled meat and eat greedily. Grab three huge pieces at a time. In short just eat like your life depends on that meat. Then make her pay for her one piece of meat when the bill arrives.

6.Do get emotional and talk about past relationships and cry about how your girlfriend dumped you or cheated on you with your best friend. Whine about your unfair boss and silly landlord. BAD_DATE_2_157021063.jpg

7.Talk about sports the whole time. Yeah, she will be really impressed. Gab on and on about football and cricket and rugby and formula one even though you can clearly see from her expression that sports are not her thing.

8.Do become rude to the waiter and treat him/her like they are lesser human beings.

9.Do get really wasted and then black out.

10.Do kiss her forcefully. In fact pin her on a wall against her wishes and kiss her life away.

11.Do be insensitive to her feelings. Talk about how huge the pimple in the middle of her forehead is. Talk about fat people and you can clearly see that she’s not your average rake thin girl.

12.Ask her to loan you some cab fare. BAD_DATE_4_238157289.jpg

Pull some of these stunts and be sure that she will have deleted your number from her phonebook halfway through the date and maybe after she has slapped you – once or twice!

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  • john

    wow!!!!! this is a good lesson,majamaa wangu i hope you have learnt something.

  • Charles Mugwanja

    hahahaaa…

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