Who really are the “beneficiaries” of this little ploy?
At one point in your life, a boy or girlfriend has asked you to be his/her friend but with certain ‘benefits’. This usually happens after the two parties have agreed that a relationship will not work for them. It’s more like a contract, only without a piece of writing to authenticate the agreement. But I’m normally confused with the ‘benefits’ part. For one, that will mean you are a friend, but more than a friend and of course the benefits part will mean that you have to be physically involved with the person, but isn’t that some sort of a relationship? You do have to agree that physical contact with someone you are attracted to will lead to some form of emotional attachment…true? So I write down my opinions hoping that somewhere along the line I will get to one solid conclusion.
Let’s begin with why two people who are obviously attracted to one another should settle for something less like ‘friends with benefits’. It should be natural that they want to be more than friends…right? Wrong! In my way, I think that its either one person in the relationship who is not ready to make a serious commitment to the other or both of them are afraid to confront their emotions. Either way, that is an obstacle to their happiness or maybe even freedom.
What really amazes me is the way people react to commitment. It is the real issue behind this ‘benefits’ saga. I do confess I have been in such a situation and not just once, that’s why it’s such a concern to me to understand the concept. Commitment is a serious thing between two people. It’s a solemn if not strict agreement that the two will stay true to each other no matter what temptation comes their way. “Friends with benefits” however means that it’s just a casual hook up for sex or otherwise and if something better comes your way, you are free to mingle. But does that not include putting all your emotions on the line and also in the long run risk your health? You might not know how many partners the other person has mingled or even “been” with casually and are in the same position as you.