Uncovered: Can sex be enjoyable if you’re disabled?

disabled sex2

Not (only) pure sex

This agrees with Catharina. What concerns her primarily is “creating a space for experience”, where wishes of her clients can develop. For example, “experience, try, sensing, being in contact with each other, tenderness, physical contact, proximity and nudity, perhaps even first sexual experiences”. Thus a so-called “physical self-esteem” can be built, which could also positively affect daily life.

Catharina’s openness also applies out of her appointments. She deals “offensively with the topic”. Additionally to positive reactions, there are also many reactions like “I could never do such a thing.” Because most people have little idea of her work she describes her job carefully. She occasionally exchanges with colleagues, runs workshops and lectures. She also complains that in institutions for people with disabilities, although the need for sex is seen, there is still a lack of practical implementation.

Deal open-minded with the “double taboo”

How controversial the topic is shows the project of the Swiss organisation for disabled people ‘pro infirmis’: In 2003, the organisation offered an education as sexual assistants, but they felt compelled to cancel the project in the same year, as it was “not supported by a broad base of organisations and individuals”. This was reflected particularly in a massive drop in donations.

The project was carried out by a different institution, and there are similar projects in Germany and Austria, too. The ISBB for example, offers training for prospective sexual assistants, which already Catharina attended and now, she bears the name “sexual assistant ISBB”. In Austria, the LIBIDA Sexual Assistance by Fachstelle.hautnah carries out the education of sexual assistants in Kalsdorf.

To participate in the training, no advanced special training is needed. The training itself is not classically structured but more a supervision. About half a dozen sexual-assisting operations of the training participants will be carried out in teams of two. Afterwards, they reflect their experiences, partly in the context of ethical, legal and practical issues. In brief, learning by doing, under supervision.

Disabled people are self-determined people

Does such an offer promote a dependency between the sexual assistant and the handicapped client, as some fear? Fact is: There is a demand for such offers. Whether one uses the offer, is everyone’s own decision. And Jürgen has an answer: It is important to approach the sexual assistants “with dignity and empathy” but “not fall in love with them if possible “. He is already longing for the next meeting.

* Name has been changed

Source: http://www.myhandicap.com/sexual-assistance-disability.html

 

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