Enter, shut the door and throw away the key!

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(THITU KARIBA) Every weekend I see a convoy of cars decked out with beautiful flowers, and somewhere is a gathering of family and friends who have come to witness the union of a man and woman as husband and wife. The wedding industry is one of the most profitable industries there is today.  People spend millions on the right dress, menu, venue, décor and a whole list of other things that make the day what it is.  People have created businesses and invest time, money and energy into the wedding day and that is a wonderful thing because it is a special day and marriage is something that deserves that kind of celebration.

Today, another business that is booming is that of divorce lawyers.  Couples are going to court just as much as they are taking the aisle.  Marriage is a lifetime commitment, the only expiry date it has is the date of death of one of the partners. There is nothing and no one other than God himself and his word that can prepare you and enable you to keep the vows exchanged at the altar. Marriage is a beautiful thing, it is a good thing, it is wonderful and desirable, however no one ever said marriage was easy, and nothing good comes easy.  Consider how much is invested in the wedding day alone and then you will understand how big a deal it is and have an understanding that the marriage will require just as much investment each and every day.

We have become the microwave generation, we buy ready made food, pop it into the microwave, set it at ten mins and soon as the timer goes off…voilà! We expect to have everything at a click or push of a button even a happy and successful marriage. Marriage is not a house we can enter in, give it ten min and expect everything to turn out wonderful. Marriage takes work, hard work. People are not like vending machines; you cannot just put money into it, push buttons and get what you want. In a marriage money does not guarantee success, in a marriage you can know all the right buttons to push but you still do not get what you want because you are dealing with human beings.

People have often told me all the reason why I should be married by now and I will share with you what I shared with them. I do not need a reason to get married; I need a reason to stay married. I can get married for sex, for kids, because it is time, I need help with my bills and lifestyle, for love and so on but once all that is accomplished and is no longer a reason to be married, what will keep me there till death? We are a generation that lacks the ability to commit to anything and wait, we have become the PAP generation… PAP to Marry, PAP to divorce. We must take time to understand that God created marriage for a purpose, a Kingdom purpose and not for the purpose of fulfilling your own selfish needs; however as you serve the cooperate agenda you also reap the individual benefits.

A vow is way above a contract, not only do you vow to each other but to God and his word says that it is better not to vow than to vow and not keep because you surely will be held accountable. Marriage is not a place you come and go as you please, it is a place you come in and settle down, get comfortable knowing that when you walked in, you shut the door and threw away the key, this means that whatever comes, you work it out together in the marriage (unless you are in a dangerous situation in which case  I would suggest you break down the door, get to safety and see the way forward from there) Between you, him or her and God, you have all it takes to work it out and stay married and happily so.

 

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  • bettie

    very true. unfortunately people nowadays are taking it as a trial and error experience.

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