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How to deal with an over possessive partner

August 30th, 2012 by

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Sometimes life can present you with such an unfair situation that leaves you in some strange emotional place you never expected to find yourself in ever! Like suddenly, as a man you lose your job and your wife ends up being the breadwinner and you find yourself having to be the one staying at home taking care of the house and the household chores that come with the package. This of course will maim your ego and may force you to want to try some things to make you feel and look like you are still the man of the house-and this is especially when that job has become very elusive.

Such a situation can turn out to be pure tricks and may result in you losing hope, becoming someone else or worse yet become an over possessive control freak husband. And see, this situation just sprung out of nowhere and landed on your laps.

A healthy relationship should be balanced with both parties knowing their roles in the relationship. Over possessiveness will therefore taint the quality of a relationship as one party is bound to act unjustly because of the aforementioned unfairness.

It is not normal to be over-possessive. Of course, you will have to deal with your over-possessive demons as you have to know that having this trait stems from having personal issues.You can beat over-possessiveness only after you have identified and accepted that it is a problem. It is very possible that you might be oblivious to the fact that you are over-possessive so…

Here are some telltale signs you are over-possessive:

*All of a sudden you are extremely insecure

You slowly lose faith in yourself and therefore you start putting yourself down. You  might start feeling unattractive and unappreciated therefore every move your partner makes, you feel like you need to be with them so that they are not attracted to anyone else or they appreciate someone else. You may end up completely distrusting your partner.

*You are emotionally distant or overly emotionally needy

Since you always want your partner to feel like you own them…you now tend to distant yourself from them. Sometimes you just want to keep to yourself and be miserable by yourself but at the same time you are blaming your partner for having such a foul mood. So you end up trying to torture them by being distant.

*You may become emotionally needy in that you want your partner to always be with you. You act too needy and expect them to always be there to cater for your needs and hope that he/she will need you too.

*You become abusive

Every single thing your partner does ticks you off to the extent you say really hurtful things to make them feel really bad.

 *You suffer from regular fits of jealousy

Whenever something good happens for your partner you can’t help but feel a bit jealous that they are making it without your help. This might even get you even more bummed out and instead of encouraging him/her you try to put them down by saying very hurtful things instead. It’s almost like you somehow want to be on the same level -or higher- with your partner at all times.

*You trail your partner’s every step

This is the epitome of over-possessiveness.

You want to constantly check the activity on your partners’ cell phone to see what they get up to and who they interact with on a daily basis. You snoop all over the place and check their emails and their handbags/ briefcases.

You may even sabotage their work so that you are back to being in charge of things.

*You become physically abusive

These are extreme over-possessive tendencies where you feel the urge to cause physical harm to your partner. Like you haven’t done worse things already.

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