(THITU KARIBA) It is no secret that I stand for abstinence until marriage, it is my choice and it is not easy but I practice it. It is through no special ability of my own but through Gods hand on me that I am able. Many may think that my relationship with God is what led me to this choice, but they would be wrong. My relationship with men is what led me to this choice, I made it before God and I started hanging out. After already having one child and an abortion with no husband I figured the best thing would be to close up show and wait until I find someone willing to make the lifetime commitment to me before I give him my goodies.
Sex is a one time activity that can lead to a lifetime of results. Once you have sex in a relationship, you cross that point of no return, it cannot be undone and if things go badly, chances are you will not be able to be just friends. There is something about sex that drives us crazy and makes us stupid. One is willing to give all of themselves with no commitment. How is it that in business we get people to sign contracts or agreements and in relationships we do not? There is no agreement that protects you in a relationship, you have to take one’s word and hope they can be trusted. People are not like God however, even in marriage they fall short so in a relationship one has to be wise about what they can or cannot give.
I do not usually get teased about my choice to abstain however when I do it really puzzles me. The last time someone teased me about it, they were trying to embarrass me and show how silly I was to follow God and not the pleasures life has to offer. The bizarre and sad thing about the situation was that, even as they teased me about not having sex till marriage, they were dealing with the harsh consequences of one night stands that left them single and with two children and yet as they said it, they were in the arms of yet another man! Some of you may laugh, it is ridiculous but to me it was and remains sad. Even in their predicament they still saw me as foolish, crazy and perhaps stupid. What they did not see however is that I was free of troubles like the ones they were now in, I am free from ever having to panic when I am late, when I do not know who the father is, when I have to break the news and they deny and totally drop the responsibility of caring for their child. I am free from the morning after pill and better yet wondering if they will still be there in the morning.
It was crazy and stupid that in the situation, I was the one being seen as a joke, but isn’t that just the way of the world? We go crazy, stupid over a few moments of pleasure that is not even guaranteed and throw away a lifetime of joy and even greater pleasure. We look at the ones that have been waiting on God, the ones that have been standing in faith, trying to do the right thing and we laugh because, we feel that we were wise enough to take the easy and fast route to get what we wanted. We laugh claiming they do not know what they are missing; but the truth is we do not know what we are missing. There is no easy way, we can do things ahead of God’s time, we can take the fast track but in the end it is way harder than we thought.
It is unfortunate that many times we let sex, drive us to the lengths it does. It puts us at such great risks and yet we go ahead and do it because we are crazy, stupid and overcome with lust. I have been there and I have done that. There is no last laugh in this situation and I hope that when we see our friends, family and others caught in this whirlwind we will choose not to laugh, point fingers or think highly of ourselves but instead humble ourselves and pray. Pray for their protection against unwanted pregnancy, being used, STDs, abortions and pray that they will be blessed with wisdom to wait and reap the beautiful rewards.