My “somewhat” newly engaged friend *Shiko and I were walking in town- actually ‘me’ walking and ‘she’ strutting her stuff-one Saturday afternoon pleased with what we had achieved that day. A fruitful shopping spree full of super bargains and amazing finds.
Now, *Shiko is this girl who believes you should never leave the house looking like you just got out of bed…but there I was in boring flats, sweatpants, a tight tee and a tired cap and without a trace of make-up on my face save for some lip balm (I was going for the incognito look). *Shiko on the hand was looking all that and a bag of chips. She was all dolled up from head to toe looking like someone ready for a photo shoot (she says you never know who you might run into). Her hair, perfection. Her make-up , to die for. Her outfit, impressive. Her footwear, stilettos so high she might have as well been on the first floor of a building making me feel and look like a dwarf!
*Shiko is usually a very confident lady and she’s got this unmatched swag…you always feel like you have to try twice to look as good. So it came as a shock when all of a sudden she started acting funny. She gasped like someone who had just seen a ghost and then started grabbing my hand and trying to hide behind me (which I found quite ridiculous considering how much taller she was in her stilettos.)
As I died of laughter , she whispered “Shhh…check 12 o’clock coming towards us! That’s my soon to be ex mother-in-law if she sees me looking like this”. Now that was hilarious considering they had been introduced and had met several times and from what she had told me before they seemed to get along just fine.
Fortunately the woman walked on past me, without paying any attention to the girl who was busy hiding and who was now keenly staring at a display of fake phones asking how much they were forgetting the price tags were right there in her face!
After the dust settled and she wiped the beads of sweat on her forehead , she explained that her future mother-in-law hasn’t met my friend *Shiko the glamorous and poised! She has met the not glammed-up rubber shoes wearing version of her instead.
“When we were introduced *Ben gave me the dress code (which included rubber shoes) and guided me on how I should fix my hair and the kind of dress I should wear. I had to go shop for less fashionable clothes and do without my weekly manicure.” She explained. “I know it was for my own good for I didn’t want to turn his mom into my monster-in-law so early into meeting.”
…Which got me thinking…
It is true that you almost have to become somebody else when you meet your future mother-in-law. Her son knows her expectations and you have to be prepared to be analyzed thoroughly and in some situations even your weight is criticized. You can either be too thin and the mother-in-law feels that you need to eat something to gain some weight or be too fat in which case she might feel that you are a fat slob!
It was hard for Shiko seeing as her side of the family are just like her…’bourgie’ and stylish just like her but she says she will deal with that other part of her future in-laws learning the real her and not the “pretend version” much later on.
I agree that the mother-in-law especially wants what’s best for her son and sometimes they would rather settle for the actor version of the person they are to embrace as part of their family in the future and for a long time. They are ‘conned’ into meeting what they would term as “the ideal girl for my son” who actually is a fake! Right?
But I’m made to understand that it’s the only way they can co-exist (daughter and mother-in-law) not knowing the truth. As much as they forget that the world is evolving and with it everything else including the modern day wife having to wear so many hats. So maybe an open mind is what they should keep perhaps?