Marriage- You Do, but We Don’t !

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(THITU KARIBA) Recently I found myself in a situation where a friend of mine has chosen to get married though many are not for it. I know that this is not the first case where this has happened- at times it’s your friends, family, or even parents. I had to go before God on this one and ask what the deal was, how can two say “I do” when the rest say “we don’t”? Is that God’s will?

I also had a conversation with my mum about that and I mentioned that when your folks do not agree with who you are marrying, when they choose not to be part of the wedding, it should be a red flag. Mum told me that in any case, the parents should show up and bless the children; I listened to her though I did not agree. If its wrong, if it is not meant to be, can you bless it into being?

As I went before God, He talked to me about His standards for a marriage. He requires each partner to be equally yoked, but it does not end there; He requires each partner to be the one that He created for the other, and He requires each partner to marry for the right reasons. Two people loving each other is not enough, God has to be at the core of it all and if He is not, then it’s a house built upon the sand.
Recently, a wedding was canceled only a day or two before it was to take place, but we were all relieved. Yes there was heart ache and pain, but not as much as there would have been years later in a divorce court. Marrying the wrong person could literally kill you. A friend of mine shared with me how his bad marriage to the wrong person nearly cost him his life!

Marrying the right person at the wrong time or for the wrong reasons is also wrong. The Bible says that in His time He makes all things beautiful; that means in God’s time, you will be joined but for His right reasons and having been prepared by Him. When it is in His time there will be harmony all round with friends, family, parents. In God’s time everything is in agreement. A marriage is to bring people together; including two families, not break them apart.

At times the couple takes the disagreement as an attack of the enemy and yet these are the people God has put around you to protect you, to advise you, to be your eyes where you cannot see. But we even use the word of God to justify our going ahead with things, only for the same God not to show up at your wedding. How can God celebrate what He does not approve? How can He celebrate what does not please Him?

When you say “I do” while we are saying “We don’t”, take note, heed to the advise, listen because it truly is better to be safe than sorry and God hates divorce. A marriage that is not according to His standards, even if it’s done in a church, is not one He will approve of. God, however, is merciful, and if you are willing He will come in and turn things around, He will come in and correct the matter by making the couple and the marriage meet His standards, which would avoid divorce and pain.
In His time He makes all things beautiful.

Follow the author on Facebook Thitu Kariba ( Coach) and Twitter @Thitu_k

 

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  • I don’t agree with your sentiments. Life is not black and white as you are trying to prove it to be and I feel that what you have to say is just but your opinion not God’s final say in all this. Sometimes two people meet and build their relationship on the right principles and want to get married for the right reasons, but third parties interfere with it because a partner does not meet certain worldly criteria such as right profession, tribe, race, age, a person’s past and many other stuff. The ways of God are way above the ways of man and not even you Thitu Kariba knows when the “we don’t” are right or wrong.

    • Fidelma

      i second u

  • Anonymous

    Readers should treat this as one persons opinion..situations will differ and each case should be judged on it’s merits. God has given us a free will for a reason.

  • Malkia

    i sort of agree that when everyone around you has misgivings about the person you are about to marry that is a big red flag and i have seen it happen to a once close friend of mine who is having serious problems two years down the line if only he had listened…he rushed into marrying a girl he had met only 6months earlier 10 years younger than him and of questiobable character…

  • I quite agree with the commentary.

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