At a party during the long Easter weekend I met a Sexologist who is visiting friends in the country. We got talking and of course I got a couple of answers. We even talked about why African women are said to be rigid in bed. This she explained was so because #1. Africans are not so comfortable with nudity and #2. since we tend to be fuller in body proportions than our Caucasian sisters we are sort of shy when it comes to being naked in front of somebody else. Some women can’t even keep eye contact with their partner after intercourse.
The sexologist continued to explain that sex is important and it gives you that special bond with your significant other hence should be enjoyed by all means. Her “tips” to enjoying sex fully was actually just one broad tip “Taking your sex life into your own hands” which she further broke down into 5 tips as follows:
#Work on your body
Feeling good about yourself and having confidence in yourself is the key to having amazing sex. And how do we achieve this? By working out of course! Walking, hitting the gym, cycling etc… Working out does wonders to your whole being! You look and feel great always. Once you work your body into shape, everything else will fall into place.
Stand in front of the mirror completely stackers and check yourself out. Check out both the front and rear thoroughly… spend about 15 minutes just looking at yourself and admiring or otherwise …and note the areas of your body that you like or don’t like but mainly the aim is to know your body and feel comfortable in your own skin. The person staring back at you is none other than yourself. Understanding your body will go a long way into understanding the kind of sex that you like.
#Speak to your doctor
Sometimes we let ourselves suffer in silence when it comes to sex because we are shy to talk about it to anyone. Sex is something so natural so it should be an enjoyable experience. If you have symptoms that make sex a weird experience for you say… pain, difficulty reaching an orgasm, dryness, problems with genital sensation, or difficulty feeling your partner … by all means talk to your doctor about it. Doctors are human beings like you and they also have sex so they won’t judge you and the best part is that they will help you with a solution.
#Allow yourself to enjoy and love sex fully!
Ask for what you want and don’t be afraid to guide your partner. If you enjoy a particular style, let your partner know and even let him know how it makes you feel. Letting him know what you like helps both of you to even make it better the next time and the next. This also helps you to take your own pleasure into your own hands which is totally allowed. Speak the truth because at the end of it we always want what we want right? In the same breath, try out new styles and decide whether you like it or not.
Tell yourself things like:
*I’m allowed to enjoy this
*This is good for my body
*This is good for my relationship
*I am entitled to sexual pleasure
#Turn your bedroom into a sexual haven
Bedrooms are for sleeping and having sex! So it should be without clutter of any kind. No stacks of files and books, no clothes all over the place, no computers and laptops and the room should be well aired. Choose a nice romantic piece of artwork to hang on your bedroom wall, invest in good quality bedsheets, your curtains should be on point to help create that romantic mood. In fact take time to make your bedroom a sexual retreat of a kind. A place where you can have amazing sex and enjoy every minute of.