Of course the world has changed (and is continuing to change) and with the change women have become more career focused than ever that some things have been forced to take back seats. There are women who want it all, everyone wants it all I know, but then there are those who want it all more than others but when it comes to matters fertility, age and looks that deteriorate with time we don’t have so much power to get exactly what we want and when we want it. We therefore end up going about things the wrong way.
There are women who want to get married and have a family but somewhere along the way they go all wrong about the most crucial step of a union (dating) and always find themselves at the exact same spot every so often.
As a woman desperately looking for love and marriage but things are not exactly looking up in that department, here are some of the things in dating that could be making you go all wrong.
*Neglecting the relationship you are in with yourself
Money attracts money, good taste attracts good taste and LOVE attracts LOVE. If you know that, then you need to know that in order for you to attract somebody else who will love you the way you want to be loved then you have to love yourself first!
Loving yourself will give you the confidence in yourself and a strong sense of self worth. The way you love yourself will help you send the right message to others about your worth.
Have a relationship with yourself, listen to yourself, meet your own needs…only then will you know what you want out of a healthy relationship.
*Not knowing happiness as a single person
The same way we give land and our hair (for the ladies) time to breathe and rejuvenate we also need to give our love life time to rest so that you get time to reflect on “yourself”. Once in a while you should give yourself a breather and be single for at least a “minute”. This in turn will help you know what to give and what to take out of a relationship.
Being single and young isn’t such a bad thing as it offers you a chance to get to know who you are as an individual and what you are capable of o your own. If you know happiness as a single person then you will definitely know happiness squared when you find that other person…you will feel more complete.
*Focusing only on one man at a time and he could be the wrong man
It is advised by several relationship experts that as a lady who already knows her value, you should do something called “browsing around”. Browsing simply means the process of looking for that person whose overall qualities are closest to those of the ideal man in your head.
In relationships, this means that you should go on several dates to help you narrow down to your man.
This of course should only happen when you are not in a committed relationship. The key word here is “date” and not “sleep” with the men.
The idea is to go on several dates to be able to choose the man whose characteristics you love best and you could see yourself with in the long term.
It is never advisable to commit to the first man who asks you out just because he asked. Most women focus on romantic love (they want the kind of love they see on those soap operas) and forget about reality love. As you already know that people do change and their true colors come out once they are deep into the relationship.
Enjoy the company and attention of men fully. It will help you get into a healthy relationship.
*Wasting precious time on unavailable men
There’s nothing as harmful to your whole being as dating an unavailable man! You know, that man who will never get into a meaningful relationship with you and is just out to confuse you, waste your time and then leave you worse than he found you. That man who hides you from his friends and family, never wants to be seen with you in public, always hangs out at your house and never takes you to his, always canceling plans with you, forgets to call you and only does so when it is convenient for him, can never answer his phone around you and he is married…that kind of man.
When you are with this man you will always be at level one …ALWAYS.
*Undermining the power of looks
Some women claim to be “not” attractive yet they don’t even make the effort to be attractive. There are women who wear the same unflattering clothes they did five years ago, same boring shoes, no pampering of self, forgetting that men have eyes and love seeing good things.
As much as people forget, looks are very important if you want to be in a relationship in the first place. You have to attract someone else, and this won’t happen if you constantly look washed out. This is equivalent to forgetting that time awaits no man and the pretty ones are yet to born. There’s a breed of younger, prettier girls who have game and if you still think your man will find you no matter how you look then you are missing something.
*Don’t know how to stroke a man’s ego
Women (especially those who love power and are so career minded) forget that men need to keep their egos intact. Showing a man that you are stronger than him is just as well as telling him he is useless or kicking him in the nuts.
When it comes to relationships, it is advisable to forget about being headstrong. Relationships are tricky and as much as you are meant to be two equal people partaking in it, it goes without saying that the man should be your protector, provider, decision maker among other things and this in turn helps him be a man about it.
If you keep showing a man that you are better than him he will most definitely flee without as much as saying goodbye and you will be there wondering where you always go wrong in dating.