Sometimes we find ourselves in very unhealthy relationships that ruin our lives and then wonder how we got there. As is normal, all relationships begin with bliss… when the thought of that person makes you smile and you constantly want to be with/around them.
Somewhere along the way, all this may fade hence your relationship becomes just another typical relationship. While some push on and take on the battle together (which might work for both) some force things when they both clearly know that it won’t work. You can always choose to realize when your relationship gets to the unhealthy zone.
An unhealthy relationship will drain you and leave you resenting each other. Research has found out that most people in unhealthy relationships have a fear of being alone and most of the time it is the woman who is affected by this.
First of all a healthy relationship is one that encourages plenty of support for the personal development of each individual within the relationship. It is balanced, there’s support galore, there’s plenty of love and there’s lots of respect. It just feels great and right to be in one of these.
An unhealthy relationship on the other hand makes you feel sad, insecure, lonely and even sick…In short it damages you physically, mentally and emotionally.
So how can you tell that you are in an unhealthy relationship?
When there’s little or no communication between you and your partner. When you are like strangers to each other this just shows that you are not compatible with each other. In a healthy relationship, above everything else you are friends if not the best of friends with your partner. If you find that your partner is emotionally closed, then that is the first sign of danger in your relationship. Your partner should always be the first person you think of when something good or bad happens to you. You should be able to discuss everything without feeling uncomfortable with each other period!
When there’s no bond between the two of you. If you have nothing in common anymore and your priorities change or you find each other’s company boring such that you constantly feel the need to be with your other friends to remain sane then your relationship is well…unhealthy. Having things in common automatically puts you in a buddy-buddy system where at least you know you can count on your partner to provide you with company when doing that thing that you both like. This will of course strengthen your bond.
When at any time you feel taken for granted and made to feel worthless. All of a sudden your efforts are not appreciated and you don’t get the nod from that person who is supposed to matter the most in your life. You do things for them and you don’t get even a thank you. To them it just feels like you are not good enough any more and this in turn just kills you inside making you feel like either you are not doing the right thing or you’ve become a nobody to them.
When there’s zero intimacy or you find yourself having to beg your partner to be intimate with you. Some things like intimacy in a relationship should come naturally so when you feel odd when being intimate or the intimacy dies then it could be the clearest sign that maybe it’s just not working out.
When you feel like you can’t do the things you love anymore. If you or your partner feel like you cannot develop your skills or interests because there’s no support from each other then there’s need to worry. When there’s no support of course the need to pursue that which you love fades and in turn your reason for loving and living life is diminished.
When you feel like you are hidden from the rest of the world. When you are not included like you should be in your significant other’s life you are bound to feel insecure and like you don’t belong. If your partner doesn’t take pride in having you as part of their “wider life” then that should be a cause to make you fret. A healthy relationship is about two people who are proud to be in a united bond and want the whole world to know.
It helps to know what your relationship is like. You need to know what you need and what you don’t need, what you like and what you don’t like, what you can handle and what you can’t handle.
A hypothetical example: when you get fed up with work, you don’t feel like waking up in the morning and when you finally drag yourself to work you can’t wait for the day to end so that you can just go home and sleep. You constantly feel drained and unhappy. Even your body doesn’t feel right and in fact you feel like you are somebody else. This is the same as an unhealthy relationship, you will always notice the signs when its time to pack up and leave.