Yesterday after what seemed like ages I switched on my TV… It was quite a process as I had to dust it, replace the batteries in my remotes and rediscover my comfortable spot. As you can already guess am not a big TV fan and can live without it in fact other than that Soko ugali ad I have no idea what other ads are running on our local stations hence it has to bear with all my hate.
So all this work was done because my aunt (she of power of praying wife fame) is visiting and I really did not want to sit with her and hear why God said that we must get married and have children and other such lectures. So I haven’t bought movies for my house in ages hence I decided I would love to re-watch “Back Up Plan” don’t ask me why.
For those who have not watched the movie (read review HERE). It came to me as I watched the movie that maybe JLo was on to something… we all need a back up plan. We need a back up plan for work, for starting a family (like Jlo) and given the new breed of men a back up plan for relationships.
So why do I say you need a back up plan for the relationship; well the stories of men using marriage as a way to lure girls into their bedrooms are on the rise! In the past year the number of girls who were duped by boys (these cannot be confused for men) who claimed they were also looking for happy endings was very high and I’m sure it will get higher with this New Year. What makes this brand of men worse than the rest is not that they are not interested in whoever they are but not with the ladies they are with.
So if your man is not DingTR or stating exactly where you stand, is it right to have a plan B?? Some ladies need a plan B more than they realize and this is not even coming from me. So during one of those nights we have with my girls that make me doze the next day at work from morning to evening we discussed signs that you might need a back up plan.
First and foremost if you have been dating for some time and I mean ‘sooome time’ and when you bring up the topic of marriage he either says nothing or looks like he wants to be anywhere other than where you are, then babe you need a plan B. I have heard in the past that most men know a woman they’ll marry just in the first few interactions with her and if he decided you’re not the one then short of a miracle from up above or a one-on-one with God will make him change his mind.
If you are a secret love, not only do you need a plan B…you might be a ‘spice’. Have you been dating for three months and you hook up in hotel rooms out of town? Does he introduce you to his friends as his good friend or just say “hey this is ( insert your name here)” then dearest you need a plan B FAST.!!! With some men you might not be a spice but he could purposely be keeping himself open for a Plan A. I don’t advocate for PDA but a little like hand holding is healthy in a relationship.
Have you been dating for a year plus and you don’t know enough friends to count off on one hand?? And all are in the same country as you are? How fast can you say plan B! Does your man’s persona change whenever his friends are around especially female friends? Those are signs of a man who is not only in de- Nile but is taking you along for a swim.
The things some men do are so dastardly that they make you believe men are actually from Saturn. This year recognize what kind of relationship you are in. Let’s wipe less tears this year.
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