Asking for forgiveness when he doesn’t know why

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If you’re a woman, I’m sure you know that most men will always comeback. They will resurface in your spectacular life because they finally have realized what they’ve lost, they’re selfish and just want to smooth things over to make themselves feel better, and finally because they’re arrogant enough to believe that you’ll always be there.

Now, in the event that your beau does resurface, and ask for forgiveness…

Tool: You ever going to forgive me? I’m sorry! Want to put it right…
You: That sounds like a relatively stupid question
Tool: The reason I wanted to meet you & spend some time with you was to explain THE FACTS to you as a lot of the “info” you’ve based your thoughts & decisions on, are false. All I wanted to do was set the record straight, that’s all…. Just wish you hadn’t written me off before you had accurate info….!
You: it’s up to you to give me the accurate info, you never refuted. “Are you ever going to forgive me?” before doing anything to make me understand etc. just sounds selfish.

And then, your beau (whom is quickly digging his grave, oops, I meant spot for himself in your toolbox) continues to offer explanations for everything else but for the real “insert your issue here” – this is a classic case of being evasive and “asking for forgiveness when he doesn’t know why.”



What’s the point of forgiveness when it’s empty talk?

Seriously, I find it so annoying when men are so quick to ask for forgiveness thinking this is the best way to “set things straight,” but end up finding their little strategy backfiring.

When you don’t know why your girlfriend or wife is displeased with you, do not jump to pulling out the please-forgive-me card – seriously, it’s getting old.

The more you apologize without conviction, the more you’re pouring acid on the delicate trust between you and your partner.

You don’t want your wifey to be thinking, “Oh, here he goes again” when really, you don’t want her thinking at all – you just want her to listen and accept your apology, wholeheartedly.



Rebuilding trust

Rebuilding trust is one of the hardest things to do. If you’ve managed, kudos to you and your partner, because surely, the amount of hard work must’ve been tough.

Trust, in a practical sense, means that you place confidence in someone to be honest with you, faithful to you, keep promises and not abandon you. Making empty apologies will eat away at your partner’s confidence in you overtime.

Trusting another person requires a realistic perspective about people and an expectation of failure. Trust needs to be combined with a willingness to forgive and flourishes in an environment of acceptance and love. However, what do you do when forgiveness is premature?

Remember, you can’t control another person or what they should say and make them change. If you bear this in mind when you talk to them, you’re more likely to achieve the result you want.

But, if he refuses to communicate and address the issues that you’ve brought up, or to modify his behaviour, you have only two options left: distance yourself from him or accept his conduct.


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SUSAN WONG

Susan Wong is the Editor of Capital Lifestyle, a resident photographer, an award-winning journalist, radio presenter, full-time adventurer, long-time admirer of anything edible, and a spicy food athlete at Capital FM.

  • Malkia2

    true talk going through that right now!

  • Premature or void apologies will come from very insecure persons or the manipulative characters who think by playing guilty they will win over the offended partner. Anything in a relationship should be done with understanding and good motives.Anyone not only women get annoyed when others try to cook up remorse with no iota of understanding just to have things their way. 

  • “….Trust Is Like A Paper , Once It’s Crumpled . . It Can’t Be Perfect ……..”
     

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