“Thoughtfulness” in relationships is key!

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To “think” means to employ one’s mind rationally and objectively in evaluating or dealing with a given situation. From the word “think” we get the adjective “thoughtful” which means showing consideration for others…(I will get back to this later)

Almost everyone that I know and is in a relationship has one thing or another to complain about their partner. Some even wonder why they are still together after the many fighting episodes they’ve had in their time together as a couple. Often after the honeymoon stage, most of us forget that we are supposed to continue loving our partners. We forget to care as much as we did in the beginning, we give up trying to figure each other out… hence the fights become more intense and instead of bliss, huffing and puffing at each other with venom becomes the norm.
But this, we forget, doesn’t have to be the case.

A friend of mine was complaining to me how his “baby mama” sometimes behaves so irrationally. On those said days he gets home to find that she will not only not talk to him but look at him. In fact those are the times she puts her banging doors skills to practice. He won’t get food, and will probably find her in bed dressed like an Eskimo but worst of all is that he is usually clueless about what he has or hasn’t done to deserve that kind of treatment. He really dreads those days.

Some women expect their men to remember everything. To be geniuses. When she calls you and finds out you are on your way home and asks you to pick a packet of milk from the super market, you better do it! When it’s her birthday, do the necessary. When she calls you a slob, get off your behind and help around the house a bit. When it’s your anniversary please mark the calendar because otherwise these will earn you frowns and more often than not a fight will ensue.

Most of the fights at home with your partner can be avoided and this brings me back to my introduction…Being ‘Thoughtful’ is the key. How is that the key? you may ask…
Anytime you are about to do or not do something how about taking a few minutes to “think” about the whole thing and the repercussions it will bring. This is keeping in mind that you know your partner warts and all. Think about avoiding a fight. Think about what happened when you last did that thing that you are thinking about…was he/she happy? Did it make him/her mad?

Ladies, I know men also like to feel loved and appreciated. How about giving them credit where it’s due? How about telling him when he has done wrong, or when you are on the outs with your moods? Instead of shouting, yelling and nagging him about this and that how about taking a moment to think about him and how he could be feeling about the whole thing? In that way you will have practiced being thoughtful and life will be better for both of you.
When he gets bummed out that you are never in the mood to do anything with him…then spare a minute and switch shoes…in that way you are being thoughtful of his feelings.

Easier said than done I know, but it is very doable.
I have heard enough men say that it’s easier to try and demystify all the myths of the world than try to understand a woman and bizarre enough the same men are convinced that the womankind is a different species altogether-not human beings. This they say, is because women are always unhappy, unsatisfied, ungrateful, and are tantrum machines.
To these men I say…It only takes one to be thoughtful to understand that your woman isn’t impossible. Think about what pisses her off the most. Is it that you come home late? If so then how about you be letting her know that you will be coming late and that she doesn’t have to wait for you? In that way you will have practiced thoughtfulness as you will be thinking about her feelings.

Sometimes I know that you want to be so mad at each other. I know there are times that you would rather spend time somewhere being mad alone watching spiders weave cobwebs than look at his/her face.
But have you heard of the mobile phone theory?
Well, the mobile phone theory goes roughly something like this: When you buy a new mobile phone you go through it thoroughly in order to understand it. After understanding the phone, you try to pimp it here and there by downloading themes, music and tunes etc. You don’t want it dropped on the floor, you don’t want a child near it and you would be crashed if you ever lost it. A new phone makes you happy and you are attached to it. Whenever it troubleshoots you want to find out where the problem lies immediately. And that brothers and sisters, is how you should handle a relationship!

Thoughtfulness leads to creativity.Help each other out. Don’t forget birthdays and special occasions, don’t make stupid remarks… treat each other like you would your brand new smart phone all the time and I promise you that will be the end of some of your problems.
To avoid frowns, tantrums, doors slamming in your face, a festival of tears and a partner who dreads coming home to you….it’s simple. Just be thoughtful! Think… thinking is free after all.

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MAUREEN OJUNGA

Maureen Ojunga is the newest Health enthusiast in town. She is also a gadget freak and a lover of all things WINE! Besides being a lover of life, she enjoys writing Relationships and Sex pieces and is also an Interior design junkie.

  • Anonymous

    Good one Mo! Spoke the truth as always 🙂 I figure if I keep reading your pieces every week on this site I might actually manage to become at least one third dateable & even more attractive to the female of the species than I already am :O)

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