Marriage- It’s not for everyone

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(THITU KARIBA) My best friend and I are the kind of girls you would say the family has given up on when it comes to marriage. They don’t get it, on her part they even suggest that if she won’t get married she could or should at least have a child or two ( out of wedlock). On my part, many feel that I should just get together with my baby daddy, whom I was not even with by the time my son was born 6 years ago. My other options have been to get married to a man even if he is not saved and trust God to save him later. All I hear is compromise, compromise, compromise.

What is it about marriage that people, even Christians are willing to compromise on to enter into? It goes beyond that, every time I go to church they prophesy to the congregation saying they will get married, they drum it in. Everywhere you go marriage seems to have been put on a pedal stool that is almost unhealthy. People idolize the idea of marriage and many for all the wrong reasons. The other day I was chatting with a guy online and I told him I am in no hurry to marry. I told him I am at a point in my life where I am feeling rather selfish and have NO desire to take another person’s cares and needs into consideration. I don’t want to share my bed or share my bathroom with some man at this point in my life. I don’t want some guy all up in my personal space. The other thing is that I took Jesus on as my husband and it’s been so beautiful, it’s hard imagining any other.

My best friend, was met with the most difficult choice God could ask her to make, to give up marriage to be used extensively by God who would be her husband. When she made the choice to give up marriage for him, he stepped in and became her husband, doing all the things a husband would (sex is not a factor here). The Bible clearly states that It is better for one not to be married, however if they cannot sit on their flesh then it is better to marry. God can use you extensively as a single person and fully satisfy you beyond all you can imagine. When you are single you have less commitments and responsibilities and God can do a lot more with you than he can with a married person.

Society, tradition, even the church, never seem to consider that fact that it is actually better not to marry and that God does not require everyone to marry. Marriage is not all there is to life, so relax, do not feel bad about the fact that your younger siblings are all married and you’re not. It could be that God has chosen to use you in a special way and have a special relationship with you. The fact is that not everyone will marry and not everyone has the desire for marriage and that is no sin. Do not just take your folks or even preachers word when they say you will or must marry. Go before God and find out if marriage is in his plan for your life. Some of you need to know that God will ask you never to marry, others God will require you to give up singlehood and marry, but the fact is that marriage is not for everyone and that is ok.
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  • Monica

    Thitu, you are on point like a finger! Finally, someone who sees my point of view. I think our society is obssessed with marriage hence the compromise. I am not against marriage but I also know that singlehood is a viable option much as society wants to stigmatise it. Great people we look upto like Paul, Jesus, Mother Teresa, Jeremiah etc were single. Matthew 19:12 (the Good News version) sums it up very well.

  • Feel as though ur saying that married people are losing out on something… that God cannot use married people as much as single people.
    God was still the one who said “It is not good for man to be alone”
    Although there is some truth to this (God using single pple more), it still does not take away the fact that most of us are meant to get married. Or how would we “Go and fill the earth” if most of us aren’t meant to be married? Married people are also in God’s will. I wonder what could have happened if Adam could have said “I just wasnt meant to be married” Hehe!

  • Levi magari

    Makes a lot of sense.

  • Marriage should only be entered into when someone is absolutely ready for it. And it’s good you realize that right now you’re at a point in your life when you’re not ready to accomodate a man in the form of a husband. The tragedy of today’s marriages is that not everyone adheres to this realization -even when they know it very well. Many people get married just to ‘fit in’, or to ward off pressure from relatives and friends. But at the end of the day, it’s your life and your happiness so you should do what suits you and not what others dictate of you. Nice article Thitu.

  • Muraya

     Nowadays people are justifying lack of wholesomeness in life by the name of God. Don’t get me wrong here. what i mean is sometimes people do not make an effort to try harder, they just sit around and say its Gods plans for me not to do this or to do that. it’s not that God wants you not get into marriage but the western influence has hit us hard in our African civilization at the root, meaning in our women. these day people are even justifying being homosexual and the sort through the name of God. enlightenment is making us lose the value which meant most in our existence.

  • Anthony

    I think the issue being addressed is that we should not bow to pressure.

  • Flawsome

    “Go before God and find out if marriage is in his plan for your life.” Put that in caps, bold font 72!!!

  • demosthenes

    Your argument against marriage hangs on God/Jesus/the Holy Ghost being a ready substitute for a fleshly companion (or companions, depending on how you like to play). So what about heathens (like me) who haven’t God in their lives? What’s the argument for us?

    • Supreme

      Lol… Accept God into your life.

  • keuna

    If you are to be single go the whole nine yards, ie, no chipsing just be alone and dont stress pple who are married. Also dont justify being single as a result of not being able to change your statua

  • Curious

    Funny what a discrepancy there is between the comments made by men and those made by women. Says a lot, I believe.

  • Dan Kituku

    I am a fan of your scripts but this one, you hit way below the belt!

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