The different types of men

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In a recent article by a fellow writer “Gathering data before starting a relationship”, it was recommended that one should get to know their potential boy/girlfriend thoroughly. This I agree with 100% and I believe the first two dates should help you know exactly who you will be allowing -or maybe not- into your life. Will they bring stress, or will they make life better? That said, today I would like to get into the different types of men. This should help you figure out your potential man’s character so that you know whether to proceed with things or not!

Misogynist Micah This is that man who is all bitter all the time when it comes to the subject “women”. He talks negatively about women and according to him all women (maybe apart from his mom) are the devil themselves.

Cheap CharlesThis one will even suggest that you split the bill on the first date or tell you to handle the bill and he will take of it on the next date. He will probably mention how times are hard on the first date. Really?!? This is the guy whose number you delete immediately after the date and if you ever bump into him after that, feign some serious case of amnesia.

Predictable PeterHow boring is this guy? He never does anything out of routine hence if you are expecting surprises here and there…you are in to surprise yourself with no surprises. He forgets that women love to be surprised at least once in a while and that they love a free spirit kind of guy. Spontaneity is not his middle name hence boredom is what you will be always subjected to…sigh!

Arrogant Arnold – With an ego the size of a gigantic giant this man will never score easily with the female folk. This man is so rude and treats everyone like they are beneath him. The likes of waiters never have it easy when it comes to serving this guy at a restaurant. Yuck!! Maybe he should apply for position of god if he’s above everybody.

Emotional Eric- Needy! needy! needy! is what this guy is. Too needy. He is constantly doubting himself (I think doubting Thomas is his role model) and he constantly seeks reassurance from the woman regarding the relationship. He wants you to promise every now and then that you’ll never leave him. Arrgghh!! who wants a weakling for a man? Women love confident independent men and not a man in the form of a “bag of insecurities”.

Aggrey the Arguer – His first love is arguing which he always has to win in and according to him you know nothing! This guy just has a truck load of issues and he just wants to feel important. He turns every topic of discussion into a debate so that he comes out the winner. Mr. Know-it-all himself.

Judgmental Jude – This guy is a self-made judge of everyone. He judges everything and everyone. He is probably a teetotaler who practically lives in the gym and is probably a vegetarian. He judges everyone because he thinks that his way of life is the best way and the rest of you who drink alcohol and eat meat will all die soon because of your  bad eating habits.

Sammy the Scrub – What a bastard this guy is! He has most likely borrowed cash to take you out on that date. He brags about what he has, what his family has, what he plans on buying or investing in while in the real sense he is just a ‘good for nothing broke a**’. If you allow him in your life, he will milk you of all your money to use on himself, buy himself a car, buy himself the latest fashionable clothes and gadgets and when you’ve had enough of him he will just shrug and move on to the next one. He even has the nerve to cheat on you with other women.

Jealous Joe – This one watches you with hawk eyes. He wants to know your every move and if you get into a relationship with him he is likely to stalk you. Warning though, his over-protectiveness of you will come out as very sweet at first but be aware that he will even hack into your social media accounts to read your private messages. He has trust issues and is most scared of being cheated on. After he reads your messages he will always torture you emotionally and constantly use info he gathered to send you on guilt trips.

Boorish Boris – Ever been with a guy who is constantly ogling other girls then he licks his lips a la LL Cool J? He never hides the fact that he is staring at other women and he will most definitely flirt with the waitress as you miserably watch. What an idiot! He has no respect for women whatsoever and can even go to the extent of spanking a waitress right in front of you.

Romantic Roman – Every woman wants her some Roman because he treats you like a queen. He opens car doors, pulls chairs, and surprises you with flowers and impromptu special dates. He is patient and will wait for you for hours at a restaurant as he knows you are probably late because you are getting dolled up for him. He is sweet and all but I hope he knows that too much of that may become smothering. Don’t forget that you have boys too Roman. 

Lee the ‘Life of the party’ – This guy will have his bunch of guys sit in on your first date and believe me you’ll be the only female among five loud men. Anywhere this guy goes nobody wants him to leave because he brings with him the party mood. He loves being the center of attention though so most of the time; he might not pay you the attention that you need and instead take care of his boys first…always!

 Rich Richard – Fashionable dressing -check, smooth ride -check, house to die for- check! This one is a high roller. Women fight all over for him but in most cases he loves himself just a bit too much and will go for equally rich girls. First date will be at some expensive VIP lounge and he just doesn’t understand why you don’t have a car. He may be insensitive to the have-not’s because he doesn’t know what not-having feels like.

 Bad boy Ben –Ben Ben Ben! Cares about his boys and weekend escapades. Will probably have you there just because one should have a girlfriend but he wouldn’t care less about your stomach cramps and mood swings. He’ll probably ask you the same question a million times because he never pays any attention to what you say. He is always on the move and he would rather die than do something sweet for you…he equates being sweet with weakness.

Experienced Eddy – He is more often than not the older guy hence he has experienced life and dating. He has dated enough to know what women want. In some cases he is a divorcee. He knows how to take care of a woman and will blow your mind away just by the way he treats and pays you attention. He is the master of women and the fabulous guy to date.

Alcoholic Alex – He will probably drink himself silly on the first date and most likely when you first met him he was wreaking of alcohol! Run sister run away from this man!

Workaholic Will -Talks about work,dreams work and probably eats work! He was probably late for the date because he had to finish up something at work! because he lives work! The entire date he will be mostly on the phone talking about “biashara” or on his Blackberry checking and responding to emails. If you think it will ever get better…then you are ever wrong!

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MAUREEN OJUNGA

Maureen Ojunga is the newest Health enthusiast in town. She is also a gadget freak and a lover of all things WINE! Besides being a lover of life, she enjoys writing Relationships and Sex pieces and is also an Interior design junkie.

  • Anonymous

    Gotdamn! I’m gonna die alone surrounded by cats!!!!! 

    • Lynn

      Saliva, Maybe this article should help you change your bad to better if you fall in the bad category

    • hahahahahah, very funny:D

    • hahahhaha saliva very funny !!

  • alveen

    maureen,seriously?so, if ladies run away from all these traits in men,where will they get others?every guy out there must have either of those you’ve just mentioned and i believe unless a lady is willing to cope up with some traits in a man,then get my word maureen,they’ll never get married.maybe you should now publish the positive characteristics women should look for in men.

    • Anna

      That’s exactly what this article is saying.
      People are different and different people like different things. There’s someone for everyone which means one woman can stand what another woman can’t!
      And at the beginning Maureen writes…  “… and I believe the first two dates should help you
      know exactly who you will be allowing -or maybe not- into your life.” This is to help you choose what you may want or not…

  • mmnjug ™

    Clearly, women wataumia…! I doubt if our mothers were up to this stuff…! smh! For easy living with us, women should just love us as we are….! No? Their loss! Hehehe!

    • apopo

      nxt article should be on Women..different types of women + traits.

      • Maureen

        coming up soon…

        • So you have finally written on the different types of women, all I can say is, as much as being controversial sometimes is good, i think it is important to be realistic, this article on the men was too negative one would misconstrue the writer to be some mean, pessimistic, single bitching lady, however in my opinion I wouldn’t say it was good, didn’t settle nicely with me coz it doesn’t show both sides of the coin…..but that’s just me…..

    • kkklan

      mmnjug with a TM hapo juu, so you also visit…….

  • Origamib3

    classic male bashing! No positives?

  • Davida

    i knew this was a woman’s writing… sorri ladies but both men and women have indifferences so  instead of saying ‘arrogant arnold’ or whatever names u r giving men… i think ua the one who is insecure ova all these. Bcoz wen u get into a relationship its all about understanding ua partner not identifying if they are loaded, witty, insenstitive or arrogant  for both partners to cope GOD has to involved either way man or woman none is perfect..

  • Kwachkarewa

    good article ,emphasis on the negativity ,but good all the same.

  • Mose Mogeni

    ha ha ha!Madam Ojunga! You have net me upfront but I think am left with nothing cause all those traits except Alcohic Alex, keep following me. Will down load them soon but am afraid it will make me  a soap opera man, who are only found on TV.

  • James Otieno

    so the only guy for chics to date are old divorcees????? harsh man

  • Kindly add more coz i dont think i fall into any!

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