Relationships: Knowing what you want

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(THITU KARIBA) Earlier today, I saw a comment where a young lady suggested that all men were monkeys and there are no real men left in the world and that women were dating monkeys. I had to laugh because I totally got what she was saying even though I disagreed.  There are times when you find a man who behaves more like a Neanderthal than anything else. It’s all about power, ego, control and dominion, especially where women are concerned. They love to show who is wearing the pants, who is boss and stick their horns out.  The thing I got to understand is that it cuts across into the church.  I cannot tell you the many times I see a Christian man  let the world know who the man of the house is, how when he gets home his wife must do this or that. Having an ego trip in front of God and all.

Personally, this is not my idea of the kind of man I would like to be in a relationship with. It would seem to make him feel more like a man, I would have to stay down very often.  I wonder what happens to a man after he marries.  Does he suddenly forget how to cook or make a bed or a cup of tea? When and where do they teach or lie to them that you are less of a man if you did any of the above?  Okay, yes, there are the traditions and customs that were taught to our men and that is well and good.  However, today things are different.  We don’t need hunters, we have supermarkets, women go to work, own houses and are even the bosses, should men not celebrate that instead of making sure that when she gets home you show her who the boss is?  What we need to look for are not traditional men but Christian men.

Christ loved the Church!  So much so, that he lay his life down for it.  Never once did I see Christ having a power trip, or putting down the woman in his presence to make himself feel more like a king. He restored the woman’s power to her, he called her daughter, he talked to her when no one else would, he saved her life and let everyone know that they were sinners just like her. Where is that man who lives to be like Christ?  King of Kings, a Lord yet never once waking up to the woman when he got in and reminding her he was the head and just to prove it, ordering her around  to make tea and  cook this or that and moreover telling everyone how when he roars she jumps. What is that all about?  If you watch the animal planet or national geographic, you get to see just what I mean, but it’s just sad when man, the superior, has to result to the same.

As women it is important to know what we want in a man, list it down and take it before God. Ask for a man who does not mind cooking once in a while or being considerate enough to wash the dishes when you are away on business.  Better yet, one who will not mind making himself a cup of tea and not have to wake you up to do it.  Even better, one who is willing to make you one while he is at it.  I know that the world would have you believe that you need to settle for this idea that the world has said a man is.  It’s not true.  God told me himself that he wants a man to treat his daughter the way he does and did through Christ. Christ went against protocol and the rules and laws man had put up to love the woman. Christ was a real man.

Ladies, disregard all you were told a man is and look at the example of the man Christ is and ask yourself what kind of man you like.  Know what you want in a man; if you do not know what, then how can you pick one? How can you know whether to say yes or No when he asks?  How then can you know which is the man and which is the monkey in your eyes? Do not get me wrong, some women like the roaring lion.  Some are very okay with the laws and traditions and customs set up by our forefathers and there is nothing wrong with that. They got just what they wanted.  What is wrong is when a woman settles for a man she does not want and then calls him an animal and claims there are no real men left in the world. Have you looked? Do you know what a real man is? Do you have any idea what you want?  If you did, you would not be dating anything less than the best for you, anything less than your real man.  Many times we like to blame the men, but you see they are just being who they were raised to be.   If you do not like or want a man raised a certain way figure out what kind of man you do want and like and when he comes around, pick him.

 

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  • James Ndung’u

    The insensitivity of these demi-gods knows no bounds. I pray for Muthoni’s family.

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