(THITU KARIBA) When people hear anything with sex involved they think the worst. Truth be told, there are good reasons why one would think the worst. As a grown man, having a fantasy about having sex with a school girl is highly disturbing. One would have to wonder if any girl in pig tails, a back pack and school uniform is safe around him. A grown woman having a sexual fantasy about one of her high school students, hot and sweaty in his football kit, once again, is disturbing. A fantasy is more like a dream, imagining how you would like something done to or for you. The idea of having a fairy god mother and a prince, pumpkin and glass slipper is a fantasy. Dreaming of yourself on a yacht, out in the deep blue sea with people waiting on you hand and foot as you lie on the deck looking like a fashion model, decked out in the latest designer swim suit and diamonds is another fantasy. There is nothing wrong with fantasizing, what matters is what it is about.
Many MARRIED couples may want to spice up their sex life by playing out some fantasies. As I said, that is okay and its good for the marriage too, to have some fun and excitement, but one has to be careful with the kind of things they do. As I said, it is not okay to have your wife dress up as a naughty little school girl, it is not okay for you to have your husband dress up like one of your students. A fantasy can tell you a lot about one’s state of mind and reveal what they really think about. There are healthy fantasies that are acceptable in the bedroom and there are those that are not.
I have heard of couples who have threesomes and that is unacceptable. To have sex with anyone other than your spouse is committing adultery, whether or not your spouse is present and participating. Likewise, to have acts that involve the other person having sex imagined or real with a member of the same sex is wrong. There are some who fantasize about two girls going at it. That is a no no. It is okay to get dressed up for your husband or for your wife, but who or what they want you to dress up in says a lot.
Many couples go into marriage without discussing sex and that is also a mistake. Ladies, you need to know what his fantasies are, not so that you can fulfill them, but so you can tell what kind of man he is and what kind of things he thinks about. Men, you need to do the same, get to know who you are marrying, not just physically where sex is concerned but in the mind. I am not talking about phone sex and all that, but getting to know who you are dealing with, what they expect of their spouse in the bedroom. We are quick to ask how he likes his eggs or how many sugars she takes with her tea and then after you marry, you are met with things that you could never have imagined yourself doing, things that are against all you were taught, things that leave you feeling cheap and abused.
It is all well and good for a MARRIED couple to spice up their sex life, to live out some sexual fantasies, but there is a no go zone and you need to mark it out or know beforehand that you are stuck with a man who dreams about having sex with school girls, or a woman who dreams of going at it with her students in the locker rooms. If they are thinking it and dreaming it, it is only a matter of time before thoughts become actions and form habits. Sex with your spouse is to be enjoyed, it should be pleasurable and it should be all about the two of you.
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