In relationships, learn how to be a good driver

Have you ever seen those drivers that usually don’t know how to indicate? They either make a turn too soon or too late, many at times confusing the pedestrian and to a more annoying level; other drivers. I hate that…don’t do that.

But let’s equate that illustration to a more personal situation. We ladies are usually termed as the complicated species, usually the ones that don’t know what they want from a relationship, usually the ones that ‘want more’ and ‘give less’. But have you once sat down and looked at this from a ‘pedestrian’ point of view? Men are usually the main ‘drivers’ in a relationship, the people who call the shots and wear the pants…right? So here is the driver, the man, and we have the pedestrian, the lady of course. Then we have the wrong signal. Watch out for that wrong signal.

Sometimes men give out the ‘wrong’ signals…(note that I have put the word in quotes because many will not admit to this). It is what we term as a ‘subconscious behavior’ of the male species. Men are naturally flirtatious; they like to feel that they have left a ‘mark’ or an impression after talking to any pretty lady. But some take this too far. It’s called sending out the wrong signals -how? Flirting is not wrong; to the contrary, it’s quite enjoyable. But do you usually go an extra mile, maybe playing with people’s feelings just to prove a point to maybe your friends or even yourself?

Ladies are naturally emotional beings, you might have talked to one the whole night and probably nothing clicked, to you it was just a simple and fun conversation. But after you leave and everything is said and done, in the morning you get a sweet text or call form the lady thanking you and telling you how she really enjoyed the night. And ideas start popping in your head ‘she might not be that bad’ ‘she smelled really nice’ ‘her body is to die for’ so why not? There is no emotional attachment for you and you’re not looking for one, it’s just for fun. You already made a mark, so you go ahead to plan another date, and another one…and with time a bond is created.

Few of these hookups actually lead to real relationships and majority are the ones that will lead to disaster. Disaster in that, I believe that if a man is not into you ‘in that way’ the relationship will never last. They usually end up cheating anyways. And a lady all along will always think that it will lead to something serious, reason being, she got the wrong signal. Simple. Ladies, learn to observe how a man relates to you and save yourself the painful journey. Sometimes you never see it coming, blinded from the start with his obvious charming nature. You make excuses for his rude or blatant behavior, which are the obvious signs that he doesn’t view you ‘in that way’. The driver has given out wrong indicators that end up always confusing the pedestrian. What is the cure?

Stay away from the darn road if you don’t want to get hurt, its simple meaning being always to be careful of whom you meet and how far you want to take it. You might have liked him, yes, but have you taken the initiative to study him? Does he have any lurking girlfriends? Is he out for fun or is he looking for a steady relationship? Establish this first thing, and then you’ll know if you want to move ahead. Men will never let a free pass at a woman escape them so you have to be smart as well. If he made it clear that he doesn’t want anything to suffice from the meeting then don’t push it. Then again, you can always tell a man who is genuinely interested in you by how you relate and how well he treats you.

Let’s come to men…what is usually the purpose of misleading a lady by hiding your intentions? Is it that it makes it more fun? I will not try to understand why it happens but I have a piece of advice. It never hurts to be honest and upfront. Most ladies usually appreciate that even if some don’t. Just be clear about your intentions from the beginning. Is it a relationship? A fling, or a short-term agreement to see if things will work out? Is it friends with benefit? Friends alone? Be clear! So that if anything happens along the way, no one is to be blamed and you will not leave a trail of broken hearts behind you, because sad as it is, our mistakes usually catch up real fast, with the worst kind of punishment. Don’t try and flirt with someone who you know takes such kind of stuff seriously, learn your ‘prey’. Don’t change your mind in the middle either. If you first set out as friends and you’re starting to feel something deeper, don’t hide this from your partner. Tell them immediately so that if anything is let out in the open, it is done when things or emotions have not gotten complicated. If you were in it for a relationship and things are not working out tell the person instead of letting them stay in a fairytale story you’re obviously not going to star in. be a driver, take the wheel and save a life. Don’t be a coward, because cowards don’t have the strength to face reality in the face!

 

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