Why are women in their 30s still single?

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January 19, 2011 – Have you noticed that there are so many women in their 30s nowadays that are still very single? By very single I mean, they are not married, wouldn’t be bothered to start looking for a  man right now, have never been married and have no children whatsoever – and no prospects of that situation ever changing!

Yes, that is the situation in town and especially in Nairobi where you will find the upwardly mobile career woman who has it all career-wise and feels nothing for relationships.

I overheard a debate one day that quite intrigued me. A bunch of both women and men (probably in their 30s) were arguing that back in their day they were taught  to be disciplined and passionate about work, being successful in school and that work had to come first.

The argument continued…Men in their 30s cannot successfully date their age mates as most women who fall in this age bracket are very career focused or focus on just making it in life hence are very much equal to their men making it difficult to create a strong relationship bond.(You know men and their ego and about who wears the pants in the relationship).

They proceeded to say that the ladies born in the 80s are not so hardworking and that their priorities are all over the place and therefore have time for relationships.

That she (the 80s girl) was not pushed as much to be overly successful or ambitious, that she was more babied -to be precise.

The men therefore then opt for much younger girls in their early 20s who may not be interested in getting married in the short term. This makes most single women in their 30s stuck with flings, or dating younger men… with zero marriage prospects.

…Need I say that I completely disagree with all that! Which brings me to my argument on this issue.single_4445906_109284354.jpg

See, I was born in the mid 80s and I have a fair share of friends whom I went to school with and are now pilots, aeronautical engineers (my former desk mate), advocates and doctors and I even know of two who are currently pursuing their PhD -talk about focus.

So I didn’t quite understand their argument. If its ambition, then everyone (born in whichever decade) has it! In my books their argument wasn’t really valid.

So many of my friends have flourishing careers, can afford the finer things in life and can still find time to maintain healthy relationships.

Does this mean that since girls born in the 80s work hard and still make time to play are more at ease with life? And are eating life with a big spoon?

A certain 30-something woman successful in her career says “We’ve become too westernized and aren’t willing to settle. We’re too independent, demanding and self-centered to sustain relationships. Our generation is torn between being traditional in a very forward thinking setting.”

But then I know of 30-something women who would beg to differ. I’m talking about those who are seriously still looking for husbands. Some even forced to become cougars. Hmmm… so who wins in this battle of the decades?

Feel free to share your sentiments.

 

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MAUREEN OJUNGA

Maureen Ojunga is the newest Health enthusiast in town. She is also a gadget freak and a lover of all things WINE! Besides being a lover of life, she enjoys writing Relationships and Sex pieces and is also an Interior design junkie.

  • Racheal

    Its a pity that the 30 something woman is not looking at getting married but they are the same who wreck people's houses why settle for second best? bcoz you convince me its only when need arises that's when you look for a man to satisfy your needs unless you work in a convent, but it's a bitter pill to swallow these women who stand wifely duties are the same ones wrecking otherwise would be stable families. We have lost focus, what if our parents had followed this so called modern way of life? you and your career would not have existed so women go easy with the ego thing coz there is a reason God created Adam and Eve.

  • Betty Muli

    I am in my 30's and single. And really don't want a relationship. The one time I really wanted to get married, I was in my mid 20's, and I was looking at marriage to define me and honestly, so that I wouldn't have to work at my career (it was at a dead end, and he was successful at his). Now that I have grown up and learnt to handle my business, I'm cool with just being me.

  • Jason

    For me the ego thing makes people lose their future to be husband and wife,for instance ambition is a must have in either but balancing the two is the material,patience that is.We need to grow together and thats the beauty,for instance sorry to say some women want a guy whos has made it(do you knw how he's reached there?) material things are essential but myopia is what kills relationships.Believe me growing together is what good stories you will tell you kids.Lets just appreciate everyone for who he or she is not what one has-we all want to be successful and God has every reason for people meeting-NEVER REGRET- LIFE HAS NO REHARSAL

  • mike ogana

    most probably when you are past your 40's & stopped caring less what society expects of u then u will be in a better position to judge whether u made the right choices or not…right now in ur 20's & 30's ur living ur life to impress others

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